7 Solo Sex Mistakes You’re Making

According to research, most women masturbate — roughly 92 percent. But just because you’re masturbating, it doesn’t automatically mean you’re taking advantage of all the different ways to pleasure yourself. In fact, you could actually be making some masturbation mistakes and not even know it. While what gets someone off varies from person to person, the mistakes you’re making could be standing in the way of having the best experience one can have while masturbating. It might seem like it’s all about clitoral stimulation, and while that does play a big part, when it comes to masturbating and successfully having an orgasm, there’s more to it than that.

Masturbation is about alone time and truly enjoying that alone time. It’s that part of the day when you clear your head, toss on some music, turn on some porn, and focus on yourself. You shouldn’t let what your boss said in the morning’s meeting or your roommate’s inability to stop stealing your food interfere with you doing you. Allowing things from the outside world stand in the way, by blocking your thoughts, is a masturbation mistake in itself.

But the best part about mistakes is that you can fix them easily, so that’s what I’m going to help you do. Here are seven masturbation mistakes you’re making.

1. You’re Not Aware Of Your Body Parts

A 2011 study by Summer’s Eve found that 70 percent of women can’t identify parts of their vagina. I'm not just talking about the smaller parts, but the major parts, too. While your clitoris is definitely home to the largest amount of nerves, that doesn’t mean your vulva and labia, are simply void of nerves and are just hanging out there killing time.

In knowing the intimate anatomy of your vagina, you open yourself up to so many different types of orgasm, too. You don’t have just a G-spot, but U-spot, and an A-spot, too!

2. You’re Making It Seem Like A Chore

First of all, nothing that feels as good as masturbation should ever feel like a chore. Chores involve cleaning the toilet, doing the dishes, and other things that no one wants to do.

If you look at masturbation as a chore, then it's to change your thought process. Instead, make it into a special occasion: “Take a bubble bath, put on some music that you like, or wear a little slip that makes you feel hot,” sex therapist Vanessa Marin wrote for Bustle. If you need to look at it as your special time to take away the chore aspect, then do just that. Hell, toss on some lipstick, too, if you think it will help you get out of the mindset of it being a chore.

3. You’re Rushing It

Again, this comes down to making this into a bit of an event, not something you do to get it out of the way. Even if you use masturbation as sleeping aid, it still doesn’t mean you need to rush it. In taking your time, actually even engaging with a bit of foreplay with yourself ― starting with the vulva or stimulating your nipples ― you can prolong the experience long enough to make for an even stronger orgasm.

4. You Haven’t Learned The Importance Of ‘Edging’

Edging is basically controlling your orgasm. When you use the edging technique, you bring yourself as close as possible to orgasm, then you stop. If you do this a few times, you’ll find that all that building up and tension will make for a very explosive orgasm. Once you try edging, you may never masturbate without it again.

5. You’re Not Using Lube

Although lube doesn’t often come to mind when one thinks of masturbating, unless you’re using a dildo to stimulate your G-spot, it really does help. When you use lube during masturbation, you’re creating a nice slick surface for either your toy or your fingers to move across. If your main source of pleasure comes from clitoral stimulation, then lube will feel far better than just skin to skin friction.

6. You're Not Exploring Enough

To really get the most out of masturbating, you need to explore your body. You shouldn’t be afraid to experiment with different toys ― dildos, vibrators, butt plugs ― and see what you like best. Also, don’t just stick to your clitoris. Instead, go searching for your G-spot, or try stimulating your perineum or even a bit of anal play. It might seem a bit daunting to step out of what you usually do, but with so many nerve endings down there looking for stimulation, you really can’t go wrong. You just can’t be afraid to go after them and see what they have to offer.

7. You’re Not Using All Your Resources

Masturbation can involve anything you want. If you prefer your sexual fantasies, then go with that. If it’s porn that you need to get really amped up and ready to go, then find some porn that works for you. If it means reading some D.H. Lawrence or the Marquis de Sade to really get yourself feel aroused, then put a pile of those books next to your bed. You shouldn’t think of just sex toys as your only resources for your masturbation sessions; there’s other things out there and if it takes some Henry Miller to climax, then so be it. Henry Miller... ooooh. Now he knew how to make anyone blush.

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Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy(7)