11 Things Mustache Waxers Are Sick Of Hearing

I didn't realize I had a mustache until my mates in high school were discussing their mustaches, leading to a rather rapid obsession with my upper lip hair. I tried bleaching, shaving (yikes), and threading before finally settling on waxing my mustache. Of the many ways we can remove our female facial hair, I found quickly waxing the hair from my face before bed every other month to be my easiest option.

I sometimes wish that like the rest of my body hair, I was comfortable leaving it be. But since I suffer from polycystic ovarian syndrome, all of my body hair is dark and thick. That being said, my mustache waxing is just an occasional member of my beauty routine. It's not something set in stone, and often I'll just spot the strips in my bathroom cabinet and remember I need to do it.

But as with everything else in the world, humans have their own opinions on how female facial hair should be treated. It's important to remember that what's best for you might not be best for everyone else. Along the way, it'd be lovely if you could stop yourself from saying these 11 things to mustache waxers.

1. "It makes the hair grow back thicker."

Well, considering I have a pretty damn thick mustache anyway, that just doesn't matter. That being said, this has been my method of choice for years and my tash hasn't reached Tom Selleck levels yet, so I kind of want to debunk this myth once and for all. According to Live Strong, "The color, thickness, length and location of hair on the body mainly depends on hormones and genetics."

2. "How can you call yourself a feminist?"

Um, because news flash: Facial hair or the removal of said facial hair has absolutely nothing with my social beliefs and conscientious views regarding the equality of women.

3. "Doesn't it hurt too much?"

Waxing is an art form, and there are plenty of little ways to make waxing more bearable. Of course it hurts at least a little bit, but for me, it's a cathartic act. If it hurt that bad, nobody would bother.

4. "You should see a professional!"

This critique only applies if you're an at-home waxer like myself. What I like about my facial hair removal routine is that I don't have to leave my house. I can do it whenever I want, and it's really, really cheap. I'm sure a professional would manage a, well, more professional job. But I've been doing this for years, so I know what I'm doing.

5. "Threading is way better for you."

Actually, eyebrow experts say that best way to remove facial hair is through tweezing, so the waxing versus threading debacle can finally come to a close. You're not better than me for paying an extra $5 to be threaded instead of waxed, though. It's all about personal preference.

6. "I've never done anything to my mustache."

Woop de freakin do. What you've done/not done to yourself has nothing to do with my body, how my body works, or how I treat my own body. Enjoy your non-existent facial hair without rubbing it in the faces of the rest of us, thanks.

7. "Have you thought about bleaching it?"

Apparently I've gotten to the age of 22 as a serial mustache waxer without ever having considering bleaching until your condescending comments. Thank you so much for that! If a person is taking steps to remove their facial hair, please assume they've thought through every option available and chosen their own for a reason.

8. "How can you still be body positive?"

Seeing as I don't remove any other body hair, am noticeably and happily fat, and write about body positivity on a daily basis, yeah, I consider myself body positive. As for everyone else, due to the media-saturated, repeatedly reinforced nature of traditional beauty standards, who can blame a person for caving in every now and then?

9. "It makes your makeup look weird!"

I kind of agree with this to a small extent. If the time between waxing and applying makeup is too close together, it can take a while to get your foundation to look right on your upper lip. Personally, I just wax at night and wake up looking fresh and facial hair free.

10. "Does your partner know you do that?"

Yeah... How dare I not keep up the image of perfect, plastic, Barbie doll with no conceivable "flaws" in any way, shape, or form?

11. "It's not even necessary/noticeable."

You've probably not noticed my mustache because I wax it on the regular. It may seem like an unnecessary act of vanity, but by that logic isn't everything fashion and beauty related just the same?

Thankfully, mustache hair removal isn't a hot debate amongst my friendship group. My friends and I will happily share tips and tricks about anything, even all things facial hair related. Keeping up positivity about each other's beauty routines helps make us feel normal about the different ways we look after our bodies.

Image: Georgina Jones (1)