Is This The Secret To The Best Climax?

As science, movies, and magazines will tell you, women can experience several types of orgasms — the most popular being the clitoral and vaginal. An important 2009 study on the female orgasm even found that 75 percent of women cannot orgasm from vaginal penetration alone — aka the majority of women have are not having vaginal orgasms or hitting their G-spot during sex. The G-Spot, or “Gräfenberg spot,” is a bean shaped area located one to three inches inside the vagina along the inner wall — but that doesn't mean everyone has found it.

Personally, I am part of the majority and need a good amount of clitoral stimulation to get things going. While I’d love to get on board the G-spot train, it has unfortunately eluded me time and time again. But we hear people talk about it all the time — what's the deal? When it comes to that mysterious area, are you a believer or a skeptic?

In the latest episode of Bustle's sex and relationships podcast “I Want It That Way” podcast, Bustle talks to resident sex columnist, Vanessa Marin all about the G-spot, pleasure, and orgasms. Take a listen to" G-Spot Truthers vs. G-Spot Skeptics" below to hear all about it:

Here are some things you should know and the one reason why none of it may actually matter.

1. Does The G-Spot Exist?

“Unfortunately, I don’t have a crystal clear answer for you,” Marin says. Sadly, not a ton of research money is spent on studying female sexuality, so there’s no clear consensus across the board. While some research says yes it does, others say, no it doesn’t. Some say it may not even be a particular spot, but an entire area. Others say it’s just the internal structure of the clitoris.

Whether it truly exists or not is still up in the air. But according to Marin, “It’s more complicated than a simple yes or no … Different women’s bodies are built differently.”

2. The G-Spot Experience

Marin says, it can be identified by feeling texturally different than the rest of the vaginal canal. While a lot of women have really sensitive clitorises, making it much easier to stimulate, according to Marin, the G-spot tends to require “pretty intense stimulation.” As in, try experimenting with very firm pressure.

But if you’re experimenting without any sort of results, don’t worry. It’s not a magical button that you can just press.

“For a lot of women, it’s just not a part of their bodies that feels particularly good,” Marin says. “What each indivudal woman should focus on is, ‘Does this feel good for me?”

If you’re looking for best sex position to hit the G-Spot, doggy style is a popular one.

3. Toy Recommendations

But if you’re ambitious and won’t stop until you experience the supposed pleasure that the G-spot can give you, Marin suggests maybe bringing in some reinforcements: toys.

Because the G-spot requires intense stimulation, toys are a great way to go. But you don’t necessarily have to go with the battery operated variety. Marin suggests the NJoy Pure Wand, “It’s curved perfectly so that you can insert it inside of yourself, hit the G-spot and stimulate it without getting hand cramps.”

4. Does Finding The G-Spot Really Matter?

So, you’ve tried out every suggested position out there and have purchased the top of the line toys, but still can’t get an orgasm from vaginal penetration alone? Don’t worry. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

“We’ve created this atmosphere of so much pressure of needing to live up to it. It’s about ego and performance,” Marin says. “Everyone is feeling insecure … We’re all concerned about performance and not so concerned about pleasure.”

When it comes to sex, there’s no right and wrong. Putting pressure on yourself to experience things that you think you should be experiencing takes away from the fun of having sex. Stop doing that. Stop thinking about what you should be doing and just do it. Pleasure is pleasure, regardless of how you get there.

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships podcast? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises:

Images: Camila Cordeiro/Unsplash; Giphy(4)