Brace yourselves, guys: The holidays have arrived, and there is no escape. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Festivus, chances are that many family and social gatherings are in your immediate future. (And don't even get me started on Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve.) If you want to make it through the holidays with your sanity intact, then why not turn to the most expansive holiday movie of them all: Love Actually. With roughly a dozen story lines, Love Actually is a holiday playbook with its greatest asset being its always-useful quotes. The following Love Actually lines are perfect for any holiday situation.
Whether you need to make a quick exit from a family event going south fast, express your joy over your mom's pumpkin pie, or flirt with the hot guy who is standing next to you as the ball drops, Love Actually can offer you words of wisdom. Then you can repeat those words of wisdom back to your companions and hope they are the only people on Earth who have never seen the classic film of holiday mayhem and a dozen meet-cutes. Prepare to owe your first born to Love Actually screenwriter Richard Curtis, because these lines are going to make your holiday season so much easier.
1. "It's My Favorite Time Of Day, Driving You."
The Situation: You've been put on driving-your-grandparents-everywhere duty.
Why It Works: Because they won't get the reference or the implied sarcasm and you will instantly become the favorite of all the grandchildren. Plus, grandparents can be great, and it might lead to conversation about their lives instead of politics, which is never a safe holiday topic.
2. "You've Seen The Films, Kiddo. It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over."
The Situation: Your friend's stamina is lagging on Black Friday.
Why It Works: Because it doubles as a rousing mantra that could rival that Braveheart speech. Black Friday's not over until you come home with a flat screen for less than $100 dollars and your friends need to know you are in it to win it.
3. "Invite Him Out For A Drink And Then, After About 20 Minutes, Casually Drop Into The Conversation The Fact That You'd Like To Marry Him And Have Lots Of Sex And Babies."
The Situation: Your friend keeps asking for advice about whether or not she should ask her crush to the holiday party.
Why It Works: That quote will yield a definitive result one way or the other, and free up brain space for more pressing issues like how you are going to get your cat to wear a Christmas sweater.
4. "Certainly, Sir. Ready In The Flashiest Of Flashes!"
The Situation: Your family won't stop asking if the turkey's done.
Why It Works: They will realize you are two basting sessions away from a tiny breakdown.
5. "And Much As It Grieves Me To Say It, It Might Be That The People I Love Is, In Fact...You."
The Situation: Your sibling just gave you the actual best gift ever and you are trying not to cry in front of them because merciless teasing will ensue.
Why It Works: Because now you've both been emotionally compromised.
6. "True Love Lasts A Lifetime."
The Situation: You've just come face to face with your all-time favorite pie that your dad only makes once a year.
Why It Works: Because the love between you and that pie is the truest of all loves.
7. "All I Want For Christmas Is You."
The Situation: You really, really want a date for the duration of the holiday party season.
Why It Works: Because everyone goes all mushy around the holidays. And you're pretty great.
8. "Oh, My God, I've Got A Terrible Stomach Ache. It Must Have Been The Prawns."
The Situation: You've made your mandatory appearance at the party/awkward family event and now it's time for a hasty exit.
Why It Works: Who is going to argue with a seafood-related stomachache?
9. "To Me, You Are Perfect."
The Situation: Someone you care about has a case of the holiday blues.
Why It Works: Are you kidding? It's the greatest line in all of cinema (this is a true fact), so of course it will work — or it will just make them laugh, which is basically the same thing.
Now go out there and tackle the holiday season like you're Sam trying to win the heart of Joanna.
Images: Universal; Giphy (9)