Here's Where To Have Sex When You're Home For Xmas

by Liz Newman

No matter how old you are, there's something about having sex in your parents' house that makes you feel like a kid again. For one, you still have to hide it — because, you can't get caught! It's illicit. You're breaking the rules. And as a result, it can actually make the entire process pretty hot.

And going home for the holidays will almost undoubtedly make you feel like a kid again. How can it not? There's family everywhere, you're in your childhood home, you're rocking the PJs you wear every season, people are cooking for you, and your mom may even be doing your laundry. It all just transports you back to a time when life was simple, unfeathered and wholesome.

But here's the difference: technically, you're not a kid anymore. In fact, you more than likely brought a significant other or even a spouse home with you for the holidays. And you both have needs. Hey, it's the holidays! 'Tis season to give and receive.

Back to that getting caught thing, although you won't get grounded this time, it's just as awkward should you get found out — or worse, actually caught the act. So there are inevitably certain precautions that need to be taken. While everyone's home — and hometown — is of course different, there are those key places you should consider when you want to ring in the yule tide with a quick romp.

Here are six of those said spots, all of which should make these holidays extra merry... and bright.

1. Your Childhood Room

This doesn't even necessarily have to be on your childhood bed. It can be on the floor, preferably on the side of the bed that's obstructed from view. If you do opt for the bed, just make sure to get rid of any stuffed animals. Creepy.

2. The Attic / Basement

Let me specify, this is for those homes with somewhat built-out versions of these. Because let's be honest, a tryst in a crawl space could be dangerous... although you would by lying down already. Same goes for basements; bonus points if you have a ping pong table you can utilize for this non-ping pong purpose.

3. Your Car

Let's bring it back to high school, guys and gals! Here's the best part: when you don't have to use your car as a sex vessel, like you did when you were actually living under your parent's roof, an impromptu tryst in one can actually be fun. Maybe even have car sex right before your previous "curfew" to really get back into character.

4. The Laundry Room

It's perfectly legitimate to want to do some laundry when you're home, and maybe while you're waiting for your clothes to dry, you can just hop up on top of it and enjoy your own little spin cycle.

5. Your Favorite Secluded Spot

Everyone had this place in their home town — the abandoned parking you would throw back Natty Lite's before high school pep-rallies, where you and your best friend would go to reflect... or that one spot in your yard that can't be seen from any vantage point, and therefore was the perfect place to make out with your junior high boyfriend. Whatever it was, revisit that spot — and then have sex in it. Oh, and don't get caught.

6. Your Parents' Room

Come on... you know you've always wanted to.

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