7 Reasons You Can’t Get Wet

When it comes to having great sex, what really matters is that you're feeling comfortable — emotionally and physically. Sure, you want communication in there, skills, and maybe even some candles to set the mood, but you also want to make sure you’re wet enough. Sex when you're not sufficiently wet isn’t just painful, but simply not as great as it could be.

Although there are some instances why you may not be getting wet that are obvious to you, like you’re going through menopause or other hormonal changes, other times you just can’t figure out what the hell is up. But not getting wet sometimes is normal; it happens and it’s not the end of the world. You just may need to make changes so your vagina can get as wet as it usually does during sex. And once you know what might be leading to the lack of natural lube, you can do just that.

Because sex when you're not wet enough can cause some really uncomfortable irritation, so much so that you may want to put sex on hold for several days, you need to know what's going on down there. Here are seven reasons you can't get wet.

1. You’re Moving Too Fast

It’s no secret that if you and your partner are moving too fast, your body might be having a hard time catching up. It usually takes women 20 minutes before they’re sufficiently aroused, so if you’re rushing things and skipping foreplay that could be the cause for not getting wet. You simply need to slow it down and give yourself at least that 20 minutes.

2. You’re Dehydrated

If you’ve ever had sex while you’re drunk or hungover, you already know that the alcohol didn’t just suck you dry of moisture in your head, resulting in that nightmare of a headache, but it sucked you dry every place else. In that case, you need to load up on water to get your body back in working order. Granted, it’s going to take a while to get appropriately hydrated again, so you may need to put the sex aside for a couple hours ―or less, it depends on just how much you drank. If you were doing shots of whiskey all night, I suggest just staying under the covers with a bottle of water for the next 12 hours.

3. Your Brain Is Some Place Else

Stress is always a major component when it comes to messing up what could be a good thing. It doesn’t just affect women, but affects men, too. In fact, a lot of missing erections can be blamed on stress, so women aren’t alone in just how much stress can interfere with sex. You may think your head is totally in the game, but if you’re stressed, you’re going to feel it between your legs, and it’s not going to feel so great.

4. You’re Taking Cold Medication

Although I’m not sure who would want to have sex when they’re dealing with a cold so bad that they’re hopped up on on colds meds, but when your vagina calls and says, “Get me some,” I guess we need to listen. The problem here is that antihistamines dry out the body as it’s trying to make you feel better in your head and chest, resulting in a mini-desert in your vagina. I guess this leads you to wonder what’s better: A head cold sans meds or sex. You decide.

5. You're Breastfeeding

Although breastfeeding doesn't seem to affect many women's libido, because of the estrogen levels, it can cause vaginal dryness. So if you're currently breastfeeding and sexually active, you may want to have that lube as close as possible to the bed.

6. You're On The Pill

Along with cold meds, another pill that could be causing vaginal dryness is whatever hormonal birth control you're taking. It's not necessarily always a side effect of taking the Pill, so if you're experiencing dryness since being on the Pill, then you want to talk to your doctor about possibly trying another one that's a better fit for your body.

7. You Need To Change Soaps

Whether it’s your body bar or your clothing detergent, a dry vagina could mean that the soaps in your life are not mixing well with your body. Even if you don’t have any noticeable rashes that might be a dead giveaway that things aren’t working out, your vagina, being the badass that it is, knows all. If you can cross everything else off this list of NOT being the culprit, then it’s time to look at your soaps and detergent.

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises:

Bustle on YouTube

Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy(7)