If there's one thing you know about Betsy from accounting, it's ... nothing. You know nothing about her. At least you won't until the office holiday party, the one night a year when all bets are off and all Betsies are off karaoke-ing the Trans Siberian Orchestra's rendition of "Carol of the Bells". How can you karaoke a song with no words, you may ask? That right there is the glory of the office holiday party: suddenly, anything is possible.
There is no experience quite as universally bonding, awkward, and bizarre than getting crunk with your co-workers on a Tuesday afternoon, but this is one pillar of adulthood that we should all learn to embrace with open arms (and hopefully open bar). For two-and-a-half glorious hours, the group of you are not, in fact, members of a respectable company, but have transcended into a group of beautiful drunk butterflies who overshare about their sex lives and scream things like "PARTY FOUL!!" in front of the person who signs their checks.
All of this is to say that there is no point in fretting about making a faux pas at the office party. Spoiler alert: you will. You have. You're going to again. And even if you don't, the Snapchat screenshots your sober non-work friends took of you are last ~forever~. So you might as well lean into it, because this comic, written by moi and drawn by the ever-talented Caroline Wurtzel, sums up exactly what is going to happen at the office holiday party this year.
Merry Cheesemas, everyone, and a Happy New Year.
Images: Caroline Wurtzel