It's not usually that hard to tell if you're a good significant other. Do you tend to stay in relationships for a reasonably long period of time? Does your partner look forward to seeing you? Here's a dead giveaway: Does your partner let you know how awesome you are? If any of these are yes, you're probably doing pretty well for yourself.
But maybe you're looking for definitive signs of good partnerhood. Perhaps you're planning to apply to the elite Coven of Excellent Partners, and you want to see if your history checks out. You want to be sure that you'll have good references when it comes time for the background check. All understandable. You could go straight to the source and query your partner as to the likelihood of your induction, but perhaps you want to play it cool, as many good significant others often do. This is totally natural, and to be expected. So what to do? How to ascertain, once and for all, if you're the bomb girlfriend/wifey that you presume and hope yourself to be?
Here are eight signs that you're a great partner, so you can go to sleep tonight happy, heartened, and reassured.
1. You Give Love Advice To Your Friends
Are you the gal in your group of pals who doles out helpful words of wisdom to friends who are having relationship troubles? People come to you because they know you've been through it, handled it well and come out the other side. They trust your feedback, and you, in turn, should trust that you're a great partner.
2. People Tell Your Partner How Lucky They Are
When you're at a dinner party with your partner and you run into friends who know you both, what do they say? If they tell your partner how astonishingly lucky they are to have found you, you're on the right track. People often tend to offer their unsolicited opinion about your relationship, but they only do it if they really think you two are a great couple.
3. You're Invited To Family Events
Let's be real: We don't invite the hot-but-so-wrong-for-them partners to our family events. If you're getting invites to holidays with your partner's whole extended family, revel in the pleasure that you're a good partner, worthy of introducing to the whole gang.
4. You Know All Of Your Partner's Friends
If your partner is happy with you and proud of you, they'll want you to get to know all of their friends. This doesn't just mean knowing them by name; it means spending time with them, finding out what they studied in college and where they're from — and caring about the answers.
5. You Really Care
Only you can answer this one: Deep down, do you truly, madly, deeply care about your partner? Do you care about the outcome of their life? When they get bad news, do you feel sad right alongside them? If so, you're empathetically invested in the relationship, and yes: You're a good partner.
6. You Perform Random Acts Of Kindness
Do you find yourself picking up their favorite takeout on the way home, or buying them flowers, or just sticking a yogurt in their bag on the way out the door because you know they'll forget to do so themselves? An ability to sidestep selfishness is a hallmark trait of a woman who is a good partner.
7. You Take Interest In Their Interests
Maybe you really don't care about Star Wars, but you go to opening night with them and get excited about it anyway. But you don't begrudge your partner for being a Star Wars fan: Instead, you take pleasure in their pleasure, and it becomes your pleasure too.
8. You're Honest
And proactive. If something is bothering you, you tell your partner. If you're nervous or happy about something, you tell your partner. In other words, you don't keep things to yourself. Being a good partner is not about sweeping everything under the rug, denying your feelings or being a doormat. It's about being open, and caring, and real with another human being, and allowing them to do the same. If you can tick off all of those boxes, congratulations: You're a great partner.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.
Images: Fotolia; WiffleGif (8)