8 Stages Of Realizing You're Becoming Your Mother
I'm becoming my mother. It's something that seems entirely unavoidable, especially if you're close to your mother. I first realized I was like my mum over ten years ago when a new friend at university came over to my house for the first time and after meeting my mother, looked at me, completely dead pan, and said "I get it now". I realized the transformation was complete earlier this year when, on my 30th birthday, my white wine wasn't chilled enough so I wrapped it in a wet towel and put it in the freezer. As I closed the freezer door it hit me. I am my mother. And I'm OK with that.
As a younger woman, I might have been a bit more adverse to the idea of turning into my mother. But my mum parties. She's good fun. And really nice and considerate and intelligent and wise and wonderful. So worse things could happen. I've made peace with the fact that I am my mother incarnate, but there are a few stages one goes through on the path to turning into mum. If you're on the way to being your mother, or if you're already a fully realized second coming of the woman, then you'll understand these all too well.
For the better part of your former years, you live in blissful ignorance about what's going to happen to you. No one expects to turn into their mother, after all...
When someone first point out how you're becoming more and more like your mother, you'll be completely incredulous. Like, AS IF. She's old and crusty and full of rules and you are young and free and virile and cool.
You'll live in general denial about turning into your mother, generally ignoring any indicators that you are, in fact, just like your mum.
4. Active Resistance
Eventually you'll decide that it takes more than denial to avoid the process of mother-transforming. So you'll begin to actively rebel (probably in your early 20s), doing everything you can to be as opposite of your mother as possible.
When even Hunger Games-style resistance doesn't seem to be working and despite all your best efforts to avoid becoming your mother are in vain (with people still telling you how very alike you are), you'll start getting really mad. Like livid. How can this be? You will ask the heavens as you ball your fists and shake them angrily in the air.
6. Reluctant Acceptance
Once your anger subsides you'll start grudgingly accepting that this is life, this is happening, and there's no use fighting it because the mum-vibe will get you, no matter what you do. Kind of like It Follows but less kill-y.
Once you're over your initial emotions, you'll get pretty excited about being your mother. After all, she made you, and you turned out alright. She's also amazing, works hard, makes you laugh and always knows the right things to say. Literally everything you can think of is worse than turning into your mother. Actually, turning into your mother is cause for celebration.
8. Embracing Your Mumness
With your newfound excitement you'll start really playing up to your motherness. You'll start fostering the parts of your personality that mirror hers, and inflate with pride when people say to you, "You're just like your mother."