The 'Vanderpump Rules' Themed Party Guide You Never Knew You Needed

Do you love to throw a themed party? Do you love Bravo reality series Vanderpump Rules ? If you answered "YES YES YES YES YES" to both questions, then have I got just the party planning guide for you! Whether you're hosting a New Year’s Eve party, a birthday party, an engagement party, a housewarming party, a Halloween party, an office Christmas party, a last day of school party, an Arbor Day party, a Pump Rules season finale party, or a just-because-you-feel-like-throwing-a-party party, a Vanderpump Rules theme is a swanlike, wine-soaked, bacon "A"-tattooed theme for the ages. Translation: it's a terrific soirée theme.

No, this theme is not for everyone; For starters, if any of your guests don’t watch the perfect reality television program, I am not so sure they will appreciate the theme the way it deserves to be appreciated. I mean, yeah, they'll enjoy noshing on the goat cheese balls, but they won't understand the meaning behind the goat cheese balls.

However, if you and your friends are Pump Rules fans, 1) y’all know what is what, and 2) this party theme should be your jam. So how does one go about throwing a proper Pump Rules-themed shindig? I thought you'd never ask.

Play Classic Pump Rules Episodes

Rent a projector, find a blank wall in your abode, and project your favorite Pump Rules episodes all night.

Serve Nothin' But LVP Sangria

Stock up on Vanderpump booze or bust. Make Pandora proud.

Make “Raise Your Glass” The Toast Anthem

If a guest wants to make a toast, tell them to hold that thought. Cue up "Raise Your Glass" by Dena Deadly. Once the Pump Rules opening credits song begins, the toasting may commence.

Adorn Your Place With SUR Candles

Sure, the SUR candle three-pack is expensive. But you know what? You really cannot put a price tag on flawless, Vanderpump-approved ambiance.

Assign Out Pump Rules Roles

A week or so before the party, tell each guest which Pump Rules cast member they will be portraying. Let them know that while costumes are not required, they are strongly encouraged. (But come on, who would pass up a chance to dress up like beloved Pumpers like Jax, Stassi, James, Tom Sandoval, Lisa Vanderpump, Giggy, or Hanky the Swan?)

Organize A Pump Rules Costume Contest

Hand every guest a ballot and tell them to jot down their favorite costume of the evening. At the end of the night, tally up the votes and announce the winner. The costume contest winner gets a SUR candle.

(If everyone just votes for themselves and causes one big tie, don’t fret! That simply means you’re all winners. And as party host, you hold the power to choose who goes home with the costume contest prize.)

Play Scheana Marie’s Greatest Hits

Fire up Scheana Shay classics “Good As Gold,” “Shake That,” and “What I Like” at least once an hour.

Set Up A Mini Wine Bottle Hunt

In the spirit (pun intended) of Stassi, hide some mini bottles of wine around your home before the party begins. When your guests arrive, hand out Easter egg baskets and tell them to get searchin’. The person who finds the most wine bottles by the end of the night wins a SUR t-shirt.

Temporary Bacon "A" Tattoo Party Favors

Where your guests choose to put their bacon "A" is totally up to them, but feel free to gently suggest they pay tribute to Tom Sandoval's ink by sticking the temp ink to their behinds.

Serve Fried Goat Cheese Balls

If the goat cheese balls aren’t flowing at your Pump Rules party, do not pass Robertson Blvd., do not collect 200 missing salt and pepper shakers. A goat cheese ball-less party is not a Pump Rules party.

Sadly, I do not have the recipe for SUR's legendary and delicious Fried Goat Cheese Balls. However, this goat cheese ball recipe I found online seems legit.

May your Vanderpump Rules party be a success, may the goat cheese balls be delicious, and may no guest spit on your front door on the way out.

Images: Tommy Garcia/Andrew Eccles/Bravo; sidewindervx (2), bricesander (3), brokegifs (2), onlyinhella, the-sword-in-the-stone (2), eaidiario/tumblr