OkCupid Adds A Feature For Polyamorous Couples, Plus Other Places For Non-Monogamous Dating

OkCupid is upping their polyamory dating site game with a new feature announced Friday. While you have been able to mark yourself as "in an open relationship" since 2014, to make the site more poly-friendly they are introducing a feature that links their OkCupid profile to their partner's profile. If you select a relationship status other than single, and you’ll be able to send a link request to your partner. According to The Atlantic, 24 percent of OkCupid's users are "seriously interested in group sex" and 42 percent would seriously consider dating someone in an open or polyamorous relationship a definite jump in interest from only five years before. 

Though I would stress that polyamory and group sex are not even close to the same thing, and it seems unfortunate that the feature will probably overlap between polyamorous couples and couples looking for threesomes, which should not be conflated— polyamory is just not the same as group sex. But the rising popularity and understanding of polyamory (The Atlantic estimates 4-5 percent of Americans are poly) means that it's about time apps and websites evolve along with it.

Although not all poly users are excited about the change. The Daily Dot spoke to a polyamorous dater who said the new feature puts those without a primary partner at a disadvantage. Either for people who don't have a primary partner at the moment, or those who choose not to date with a hierarchy, the new feature doesn't really work for their needs. But life coach Effy Blue told The Daily Dot that OkCupid is data-based, and will probably be responding to what their data has called for. But if you feel like this isn't the right option for your polyamorous needs, there are a whole lot of other apps and sites out there for poly dating:

 1. OpenMinded

A go-to for those interested in polyamory and open relationships, the site claims that it brings "the ease and flexibility of online dating to the currently underserved world of open relationships." 

Users that found OkCupid "very mainstream" reported feeling more at home on OpenMinded, although one user told The Daily Dot that it "does nothing to foster a sense of community around polyamory, and does nothing to engage new users". But if you're looking for a safe and stigma-free environment, that's what this site promises. 

2. 3nder

If you're looking for the Tinder experience, but not interested in monogamy, 3nder is probably the right choice. All of the swiping, but with options non-traditional options including setting up group chats with your matches, it's aimed at those who are looking at more than a twosome, whether in terms of dating non-monogmously or hookups. So not strictly poly— it's for everyone— but it looks like you can use it how you want to.

3. PolyMatchMaker

A truly inclusive site, this is aimed at all strands of polyamory and non-monogomy. It also tries wants to educate about the community, according to their site: 

"Not only do we provide a tasteful adult environment; bringing people together for love, friendship, learning, support, and camaraderie... we are also a resource for learning about Polyamory in its many forms and nuances. The practice of Polyamory can be as unique as each of us are. PMM supports all styles, all people." 

So if you feel like you don't quite feel comfortable anywhere, this site seems to be truly cater to all versions of non-monogamy. 

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