Life

Brace Yourselves — It's #Snowzilla

First, there was Snowpocalypse. Then, there was Snowmageddon. Now, there is… SNOWZILLA. As Winter Storm Jonas sweeps the Northeast and mid-Atlantic states, naturally people have taken to the Internet to document their experiences — and if the best of the #Snowzilla Twitter hashtag is anything to go by, everyone’s having a grand old time. Who knew a major storm could be such a blast?

We owe the term “Snowzilla” itself to the Capitol Weather Gang, who ran a poll on Friday, Jan. 22 asking readers to decide on an appropriate nickname for the oncoming storm… although somewhat oddly, “Snowzilla” didn’t actually take the top honors. According to the Washington Post, “Snowzilla” was the runner up with 24 percent of the votes. Other options included “Snownino” (a play on “El Nino”) coming in at 19 percent and “Snowtastrophe” with 17 percent of the vote; meanwhile, the totally uninspired “Blizzard of 2016” earned a measley eight percent. (Alas, there were no Jonas Brothers puns to be found.)

If the people had had their way, though, we would now be calling Winter Storm Jonas “Make Winter Great Again.” With 32 percent of the vote, it was the popular favorite. But alas, the Capitol Weather Gang had this to say after the poll’s close:

We’ve thought about it long and hard this morning and although Make Winter Great Again has the most votes — and it certainly is hilarious — it doesn’t make for a good name, or a good hashtag. So we’re going with the runner up: #Snowzilla!

Is democracy dead? Maybe. But you’ve got to admit that #Snowzilla is a pretty great hashtag — and besides, this? This is gold:

Don’t even try to deny it.

So in honor of this wild and crazy storm and its wild and crazy hashtag, here’s the best of #Snowzilla. You’re welcome.

The Monster Is Risen!

Prepare yourselves, for Snowzilla has awakened — and he gets cranky when people interrupt his nap.

And He Is Not Pleased With Us

Like, really, really cranky. Crotchety old man cranky. That's pretty dang cranky.

But At Least He Has His Own Theme Song

This one is my favorite, hands down. Also I will now be listening to Blue Oyster Cult for the rest of the afternoon.

Time To Break Out The Big Guns

Wait, you guys. Maybe it's not Snowzilla at all. Maybe this is the first phase of the Empire's attack on Earth. THEY BROUGHT AT-ATs, YOU GUYS. WE'RE DOOMED. Where's that tauntaun when you need it?

Brace Yourselves

All in favor of the White Walkers facing off against Snowzilla, say "aye."

You Can't Sit With Us

Snowzilla is the worst party guest ever.

Make Way For Snowzilla's Annoying Younger Brother

For the curious, Godzooky actually exists — it's a "juvenile monster" version of Godzilla that was created by Hanna-Barbera in 1978. True story.

A Challenger Approaches

Too soon, Twitter. Too soon.

For Those Of You Still Gunning For #MakeWinterGreatAgain

#SnowzillaForPresident2016.

But Don't Worry, Snowzilla...

...We still love you. As long as you don't take out our power and leave us stranded in the middle of nowhere for days on end.

Our love is conditional.

Sorry.

Image: Fotolia