Hoverboard Porn Is Here, So We Have Basically Peaked As A Species

Well, it's about goddamned time. While we've all been talking about robot sex dolls, technology has truly reached the final frontier — Brazzers has made a porn of people having sex on a hoverboard. That's right, hoverboards. You know, those horrible things every annoying child in a mall has? Or maybe that thing that lit your cousin's foot on fire? Well, it has truly earned its place in the modern world, because now people are having sex on them. It's the final test.

I'm so confused, because I find them terrifying. I can't see why anyone would want to get on one in the first place, let alone get on one naked and inside of each other. But that's exactly what Luna Star and Keiran Lee are doing in the The Future of F*cking, (I think the title says it all). Is it impressive? Absolutely. Is it sexy... I honestly don't know. But they go for it.

According to the Daily Dot "Star and Lee roll around the room mid-blowjob and mid-vaginal penetration . They stroll from one side of the room to the other, even going around in circles". Meanwhile, I fell out of a chair yesterday. While sitting down. So I won't be trying hoverboard sex time soon— and neither should you. But if you want to check out hoverboard porn, it's on the Brazzers website. Do I even need to say that it's the most NSFW thing ever?

Here are some other weird developments in porn:

1. Virtual Reality Porn

This was the big development of last year. When Badoink let people try watching virtual reality porn for the first time, it showed how much fun interactive porn can be. The technology has come so far that people are delighting in feeling like they can be in the porn— they're loving it.

2. Interactive Dates

It's not just about the sex. A lot of VR porn has a romance aspect, where people can go on dates too. Their dates will respond to them being too forward, or complimentary, or nice and interesting. It's a holistic service.

3. A Doll Who Can Dirty Talk

Seriously. Realbotix has been developing some of the most technologically up to date sex robots yet— including ones that can dirty talk and blink. They won't come cheap— we're talking around 10 grand— but they're eerily lifelike, if that's your thing.

4. VR Tenga

The opposite of life-like, but way more...stimulating? The VR Tenga will basically give you a robot hand job. It'll sort of bob around on your penis while you watch something sexy, (presumably, because the robot itself is not sexy at all— think R2D2 on your penis).

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises:

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