I am going through way too many emotions these days when it comes to things that actually have nothing to do with my own life. Case in point, Countess LuAnn de Lesseps' upcoming wedding. Yes, I am super happy that my beloved countess has found love with Thomas D'Agostino, Jr., but I was also really into Real Housewives of New York City when the viewers got to see her antics as a single woman on the prowl. I was all about the queen of etiquette coming out of her shell and cutting loose, so I just don't know how to feel, but obviously I'm going to be supportive in my one-side relationship with Lu. I only want the best for her. This is why I wish I could take some part in planning her wedding. I don't actually know her, so I am aware that this is an impossible aspiration, but I do have some great ideas about what things need to be included in LuAnn's wedding.
LuAnn de Lessep's wedding needs to strike that perfect balance of being a fun time and a classy affair. So hit me up, if you need some help, LuAnn. I have a lot of thoughts about how to take this wedding to the next level.
1. A Karaoke Machine
It would be a kickass reception if LuAnn and her guests were able to get on the microphone and perform some songs. A karaoke hour at this wedding would definitely be a good idea. Truthfully, I am just hoping for Sonja Morgan to do a special dance performance in honor of the big event and a karaoke machine would definitely increase the likelihood of this happening.
2. Countess Collection Vodka
All of the drinks at this wedding should be Countess-approved and it makes complete sense for it to be a strictly vodka wedding. LuAnn is working on her own brand of vodka called Countess Collection and it would be perfect if a mixologist came up with some signature drink combinations inspired by the Real Housewife.
3. Cool People
LuAnn only deserves the best of the best when it comes to her wedding attendees. Uncool people should not be invited to this major event. They'll only bring her down.
4. Copies Of Her Book
This is a great idea because all the Real Housewives love self promotion. Also, putting LuAnn's etiquette books at every table will serve as a reminder for her guests to be on their best behavior.
5. Scrambled Eggs À La Française
I still don't really know what scrambled eggs à la française are, but I feel like the wedding would be incomplete without them. It would be even better if LuAnn whipped up the dish herself, but I imagine she will be kind of busy that day.
6. Big Sunglasses
There should be oversized sunglasses at every place setting. First off, they can be symbolic for deflecting whatever shade that will inevitably be thrown at this wedding. Second, I feel like everyone is going to party hard so they would be essential for "being cool" the morning after, especially for hungover guests.
7. Fashion Police
I could easily see LuAnn being miffed by her guests' wardrobe choices. If there was some sort of fashion authority present to make sure that everyone was complying with the dress code, while not outdoing LuAnn, it would be ideal.
8. Drag Queens
This would just be a great way to show off LuAnn's sense of humor after all of the NYC ladies have made so many drag queen comments, both to her face and behind her back over the years. If LuAnn had some drag queens performing it would make for a fun time for guests and it would also show everyone that she doesn't consider "drag queen" an insult.
I know some of my ideas are pretty out of the box, but if LuAnn actually did implement them, I know that it would be the perfect wedding for the Countess!