Like Zoolander before it, Zoolander 2 is ridiculous and unpredictable. Picking up about a decade after the events of the first film, Zoolander 2 finds our hero, Derek Zoolander, in self-imposed exile in "Extreme Northern New Jersey" after (spoiler alert) The Derek Zoolander School For Kids Who Can't Read Good and Want To Do Other Stuff Good Too collapsed, disfiguring his BFF Hansel and killing his wife Matilda, a loss that led to his son, Derek Jr., being taken away by child services. Time, it turns out, has not been kind to the one-time top male model, and Zoolander 2 essentially consists of Derek attempting to reconnect with his son while earning his way back into the modeling world. The movie leaves plenty of room for a sequel to explore even more of Zoolander's antics, but if a follow-up did happen, what would Zoolander 3 be about?
Spoilers ahead! Zoolander 2 ends with Derek marrying Interpol Fashion agent and former swimsuit model Valentina (Penelope Cruz) and helping her open her own school for swimsuit models. Meanwhile, Hansel returns to his true love Orgy to be a father to the group's many children, and Zoolander's son, Derek Jr., becomes the world's number one "plus-size" model. (Insert eye roll here.)
If Zoolander becomes a trilogy with a third film, it's likely the movie would be made sooner rather than later. Zoolander was a bit of a sleeper hit, which is why Zoolander 2 took so long to become a reality, but nowadays, studios are not known to wait around to make a franchise. So what would the ridiculously good looking male model do in a potential Zoolander 3? Here are a few suggestions.
1. Hansel Uses Yoga To Fight Crime
Hansel's extreme yoga talents were barely put to use in Zoolander 2, so it would be fun to see more of Hansel's super spy skills in a third movie. If Hansel's flexibility isn't a major point of a follow-up film, there at least needs to be a scene where Hansel does yoga with Sting.
2. Mugatu Spin-Off
Mugatu, Will Ferrell's villainous fashion designer, deserves his own spinoff. Unfortunately, the new sequel may or may not have ended with Mugatu (spoiler!) dying via glitter bomb, so a future film starring Mugatu would probably have to be a prequel. Then again, this is Zoolander, where models have magic in their eyes, so Mugatu could just come back from the dead.
3. Derek Zoolander Commercials
I could definitely watch two hours of '90s commercial spoofs starring Derek Zoolander.
4. Derek Jr.
Derek Jr. could take over the franchise from his fictional dad, but it's tough to say whether or not that would be really a good thing. A big joke in Zoolander 2 is that Derek Jr. is — gasp! — overweight (or fat/"plus size" as Derek likes to call him), and it's difficult to think of a way Derek Jr. could be the star of his own film without it being offensive to anyone who could possibly be considered overweight.
It's unclear when, if ever, Zoolander 3 will hit the big screen, but if it does, whatever happens in it will probably be like the existence of Zoolander 2: a complete surprise.
Images: Paramount Pictures; Giphy (5)