If you have a best friend or a friend that you are very close with (because once you reach a certain age, to quote Mindy Lahiri "best friend is a tier, not a person"), then you'll know there are some sex-related things best friends talk about. And when I say some, I mean all. There's a whole episode of Friends based on the real truth that female friends tell one another everything about their sex lives. While this is obviously a heteronormative ideal (because of course there are many people of many different sexual orientations who discuss sex-related things with their friends), if you just take out "female" and replace with "best", it's pretty accurate.
Short of just saying "everything" and ending this post, there are certain sex-related topics that all friends seem to cover fairly universally. Sure, different friendships have different taboo topics, but there are some things that will probably always come up, no matter how much you might find them a little bit awkward. That's what having friends is for! Awkward and honest conversations about real life. And obviously a warm shoulder to commiserate on when stuff sex gets weird. Here are some sex-related things that best friends, or just regular friends, talk about.
1. Anal, Yes Or No?
It's a hot topic amongst heterosexual folk: to anal or not to anal? For women, should we let guys do it? What does it feel like? Or the on the other hand there's the friend that encourages you to do it because she loves it. We also talk about if we should offer it to our straight boyfriends, too, so no one is being left out.
2. Embarrassing Moments
Sex is filled with embarrassing stuff like queefs and that fart sound that happens when your bellies are sweaty and stuck together and they pull apart suddenly. Friends talk about this stuff because it happens to everyone, and that's a comforting thing to be able to admit and discuss.
3. The Big Ones And The Small Ones
Sorry guys... but if you're having sex with a woman chances are she's discussed your size with friends. Of course, that doesn't mean she's named you specifically, but there are conversations where someone regales their friend's with stories of "the biggest one" or "the smallest one". They're not mean, and it's never personal (in fact, anyone who has experienced multiple sizes of penises knows that the quality of the sex can be great regardless of size), but it is deeeeefinitely up for discussion.
4. Period Sex
Like anal, this is another divisive one, for women of all sexualities. Of course we're going to talk about it! And between friends, there can be so many varying opinions, it's interesting to see how people differ on a topic that is so natural to some, and such a gross out to others.
Even if you don't want to have babies chances are you have at least one friend that does. Between friends, future plans for babies are often discussed. With our friends who are already mothers, we talk about childbirth and breastfeeding in great detail. Yes, vaginal tearing and placenta birthing included.
If you can't talk to your best friend about abortions, who can you talk to? Sometimes abortions come up, and although no one wishes themselves in this situation, it's one that we have to deal with when we find ourselves with an unwanted pregnancy, and don't want to go through it alone (so often men don't rally for these things, so we turn to our friends). And even if abortion is not a reality for us, we're more than happy to talk abortion stories with our besties, or discuss under what circumstances we would have one.
7. What We Like And What We Don't Like
What better conversation than the one you have with your friend only to discover you like or don't like the same sex things? Or that you like and dislike totally different things, but your eyes are opened to new ideas? Having a friend to talk about sex with can really make you feel safe and understood, but also challenge you too.
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