How Many Careers Has Kirk From 'GG' Really Had?

by Jordana Lipsitz

As any Gilmore Girls fan knows, Kirk Gleason, one of Stars Hollow's oddest residents, has managed to hold more jobs than anyone could possibly imagine. Considering all the jobs that Kirk had over the course of the show, his closets must have been jam-packed with uniforms and his taxes must have been impossible to file. Kirk always seemed to be working, and in the Season 5 episode "Blame Booze and Melville," he claimed to have held 15,000 jobs and saved almost 2.5 million dollars (which explained his ability to buy the Twickum House). Who knew?!

But how did he manage to do it all? Did Kirk just get fired a lot (very likely), or was he a magical time traveler who somehow managed to hold 10 jobs at once (also likely)? Whether he was announcing hockey games, installing cable boxes, or acting in a themed dinner party, the man showed a work ethic that was an inspiration to all Gilmore Girls fans. The following are all the various jobs everyone's favorite goofy guy from Stars Hollow took on over the course of the show.

1. DSL Installation Man

In viewers' first introduction to Kirk in Season 1, Episode 2, he isn't even named Kirk. His name is Mick and he's a man Emily hires to put DSL in Lorelai's house so that Rory can have good internet for Chilton. Lorelei, for some reason, cancels the service, leaving Mick and the other DSL guy on the search for a turtle in her yard.

2. Beauty Product Salesman

In this episode, Kirk decides that the secret to good skin is hay, because "cows never wrinkle." He creates a line of skin-care products called "Hay There" which is made of hay and gives a bunch of free samples the Independence Inn. He later takes it all back because, whodathunk, it causes a lot of health problems.

3. Hockey Announcer

Kirk appears as the radio announcer at a hockey game in this episode, when Rory, tired of waiting around for Jess to ask her to hang out, goes to a hockey game with Lane. I would most assuredly ditch any boy to hear Kirk announce a hockey game.

4. Mail Man

This time Kirk is back at it as a mail man. He delivers Rory's Harvard acceptance letter straight to her excited fingers.

5. Tow Truck Operator

For some reason, Taylor agrees to give Kirk the keys to a tow truck. Probably not the smartest decision.

6. Beauty Shop Cashier

Stars Hollow has one beauty store, and they let Kirk run it? Just doesn't seem wise.

7. Doose's Market Cashier

This job makes the most sense because Kirk does always seem to be running around doing Taylor's bidding.

8. Firewood Supplier

In this finale episode of Season 4, "Raincoats and Recipes", Kirk takes advantage of the test run Lorelei is doing at the Dragonfly Inn for all her friends and sells her firewood. He also gives Luke the job of making sure he doesn't have night terrors and scare the crap out of his girlfriend Lulu, who he's spending his first night with.

9. Wedding DJ

Luke's sister, Liz, and her husband choose Kirk as their Renaissance-themed wedding DJ. He actually does a pretty OK job.

10. Swan Delivery Man

At another wedding, this one hosted at the Independence Inn for two sets of twins getting married, Kirk is the one who brings the swans. Where he gets these birds? No one is quite sure. But he's also in charge of wrangling them, which he does not quite ace.

11. Flower Delivery Man

When Max Medina asks Lorelei to marry him via 1000 yellow daisies, it's Kirk who delivers the flowers. He's always giving good news to the Loreleis, even if they don't choose to accept it.

12. Dinner Actor

During the Bracebridge Party, a themed event held at the Independence Inn, Kirk performs as one of the servers/actors. Though the official party is canceled because of the weather, the residents of Stars Hollow are able to take their places and enjoy Kirk's method acting.

13. Termite Exterminator

Lorelei's house has termites, and for some reason she trusts Kirk's assessment of the costs.

14. Video Store Clerk

When Paris is on the hunt to find the "seedy underbelly" of Stars Hollow, Rory takes her into this video store — where of course Kirk is behind the counter, because who else would be?

15. Real Estate Agent

The best time in Kirk's storyline is when he's training to be a real estate and rocks a Bluetooth in his ear.

16. Black, White, And Red Movie Theater Clerk

I desperately wish this theater, which is basically just a cozy living room that shows fun classic movies, existed in real life. I could take or leave Kirk being the clerk, though. He's sweet, but might be off-putting to watch a movie with.

17. Owner of Kirk's Diner

When Luke's is up for repairs, Kirk opens a diner right outside the door. It's a short-lived venture, but it's hilarious to see how angry Luke gets.

18. Giant Hot Dog

When Sookie asks Kirk to hand out some flyers for The Dragonfly, she doesn't think he'll grab a hot dog suit to do it. Never underestimate Kirk, Sookie. You really should have figured that out by the pilot episode.

19. Dog Walker

Because why not? This job is meant to impress Kirk's girlfriend Lulu, a dog enthusiast. And clearly, it works.

20. Pizza Maker

For Lorelei's birthday, the gang tries to make a giant pizza. Kirk suffers severe cheese burns.

21. Security Alarm Installer

Would you feel safe with a security system installed by Kirk? Neither would Lorelei, specifically because Kirk forgets to ask her before setting the system up.

22. Ring Seller

So this one is a tad creepy, because Kirk befriends older women so that they will him their jewelry, which he then sells. But at least Luke gets a cool ring for Lorelei out of it.

23. Wrapping Paper Salesman

Kirk goes against the children of the town who are selling wrapping paper to raise money for school. He makes it his mission to beat them at their own game, even with all the prank pizzas they keep sending him.

24. Pedicab Driver

Sure, Kirk isn't the fastest cyclist when there's two people in tow, but who would be? That's a tough job.

25. Weston's Bakery Cashier

Literally every storefront in Stars Hollow has hired Kirk at one point or another.

26. T-Shirt Designer

Kirk decides to design and create daily slogan shirts. One such shirt says "Babette Ate Oatmeal." People buy these shirts.

27. Custom Mailbox Designer

Kirk designs mailboxes. One looks like Condoleezza Rice. I think that's all that really needs to be said here.

28. Wedding Photographer

Though the wedding doesn't go down, you can still assume Lorelei pays Kirk his due of lunch and the cost of film to photograph her wedding to Max Medina.

29. Filmmaker

I'll let the art speak for itself.

From artist to salesman to pedicab driver, Kirk is a man of many talents. Let's hope he keeps up this sort of behavior in the revival, because he is undoubtedly one of the funniest characters on Gilmore Girls.

Images: Warner Brothers, gilmorisms/Tumblr