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Talk About Rubbing Salt In The Wound

by Katherine Speller

Without the hustle and bustle of high-stakes campaigning to quell his bloodlust, what is suspected Zodiac Killer Sen. Ted Cruz supposed to do with all the time on his hands? While it could be that his years of terrorizing the Bay Area, taunting police and drafting menacing ciphers detailing his crimes are finally behind him, the internet is not entirely convinced. After all, once a Zodiac Killer, always a Zodiac Killer.

While Cruz could easily just head back home to Texas and resume some of his (slightly) less horrifying pastimes — like trying to take away your beloved sex toys, restricting reproductive health access throughout his state, or keeping grocery store employees on their toes with some coordinated assaults on their Campbell's Chunky Soup aisles — there's already some telling clues to what he'll actually be up to once he's free of all the unbearable stresses and "sacrifices" of campaign life. (Spoiler alert: It's zodiac killing.)

Buzzfeed's Sam Stryker was the first to make the startling discovery late Tuesday evening following Cruz's announcement that he would be suspending his campaign. It's a subtle sign that any casual observer might miss — but it totally solidified Cruz's true intentions for his post-campaign plans (once Donald Trump is officially named the GOP's presumptive nominee). Hidden in plain sight via a CNN headline: "Ted Cruz Drops Out Of Presidential Race" reveals the letters Z-O-D-I-A-C.

Who needs to put out a press release, anyway? Not the Zodiac Killer. It only makes sense that all major communications are delivered in code. It's all a part of his M.O.

While Cruz will still hold on to his Senate seat until at least 2018, according to CNN, it's apparent that government business might not be the only thing to occupy his time. Although, I suppose it could always be worse: He could be trying to resurrect his acting career.

Image: Giphy.com