Bath time is traditionally a time of pampering; one where you can go a little wild with your lotions and shower gels, testing out new promises. But sometimes those experiments can go a little, well, weird. In the early 2000s, there were a handful of weird shower beauty products people were huge fans of, from hair tinting shampoo to glitter-slicking shower gels. They might have felt decadent and special at the time, but now they probably just seem a little silly. And more than comical.
When thinking back to those shower products, I have to admit the common theme of them made sense. Back when glitter was used in just about every eyeshadow, lip gloss, and lotion available, is it any wonder our soaps and night creams where packed to disco-ball proportions with the stuff? I mean, when looking like you just came back from St. Bart's was the norm (just think back to Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan), can one truly be surprised that there were self-tanning bath gels and special exfoliants on the market?
If there was a demand, there was a product. That's the way it works. And seeing as our beauty ideals were a tad cringe-y back in the day (just think of sharp-contrast low lights), our bath products didn't get to be an exception. So check them out: Below are 11 early '00s shower products we used that are totally weird.
1. Jessica Simpson's Dessert Treats Body Frosting
Jessica Simpson Dessert Treats, $29.95, ebay.com
Why did I think that this is what I wanted to do after getting squeaky clean in the shower? Why did I think smearing myself with frosting-like, sticky lotion that smelled like old cupcakes was the capper to my beauty routine? Why did I not have any guidance back then?
2. Bath & Body Works Arts Stuff Foaming Body Wash
Bath & Body Works Art Stuff Foamtastic Body Wash, $12, ebay.com
I could never get used to the fact that foam came out rather than liquid. It always gave me the vague sensation that I had mixed up the bottles and was now washing with mousse.
3. Jergens Natural Glow Color Primer In Shower Scrub
Jergens Natural Glow Color Primer In Shower Scrub, $9.99, ulta.com
It was meant to be this big thing that could get your body all primed and buffed for your self-tanning session in the bathroom. But it was just a regular ol' scrub. Talk about marketing words.
4. "Body Moisture"
Bath And Body Works Art Stuff Sherbet Shake Just Beachy Body Moisture, $29, ebay.com
Essentially it was just body lotion you could put on in the shower, but the use of the phrase "body moisture" just makes me think of, um, sweat. Like, sherbet-flavored sweat. Delightful!
5. Glitter Shower Gel
Arts Stuff Melon Mania, $12, ebay.com
Our love for glitter had no bounds in the early '00s. From eyeshadows to hairsprays to shower gels, we were ready to sparkle like disco balls during all hours of the day.
6. Bath & Body Works Temptations Lotions
Temptations Lotions, $19.99, ebay.com
Shower-friendly lotions that smelled like cookies or something whipped up in a bakery were also very in at the beginning of the millennium. I'm all for that fresh-baked cookie smell, but this seems a little excessive.
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7. Hair Tinting Shampoos
Visibly Brighter Shampoo, $7.99, johnfrieda.com
Using this shampoo promised to either tint your hair darker or lighten it up, depending on which line you went with. But I'm thinking all it did was just give me a convincing placebo effect.
8. Nair Shower Power Formula
Nair Shower Power Sensitive Formula, $14, amazon.com
The formula that will somehow melt off the hairs from your leg: Sounds not at all terrifying and totally worth it to get rid of the annoyance of fumbling with razors. Er, right?
9. Horse Shampoo
Mane N Tail Shampoo, $6, amazon.com
Even if you never saw a bottle outside of your girlish-centered fantasies, horse shampoo was a real thing to wash your hair with in the early '00s. I remember reading multiple articles that stated it'd get my hair as shiny and strong as a horse's mane. I personally never braved the species jump.
10. Bath & Body Works Glitter Lotion
Bath And Body Works Art Stuff Starry Sky Glitter Sparkle Lotion, $24, ebay.com
With more shower body lotions, the mission to be lubed-up and as shiny as a sequin continued.
11. Glitter Splash
Bath & Body Works Art Stuff Stylin' Strawberry Glitter Splash, $13, ebay.com
When your after-shower scent comes out of a Windex bottle...
Whether you used any of these products or you still do, you have to admit it's fun to reminisce over how quirky shower time used to be.
Images: eBay (6); Amazon (2); John Freida (1); Ulta (1)