Summer as an adult typically means three things for me: One, how can I keep my hair from frizzing? Two, how can I prevent pit stains? And 3, How long can I get away with not shaving my legs? Growing up, however, matters of the hot weather season were completely different. All '90s kids had similar summer struggles, probably because we had way too much free time on our hands. I mean, sure, we loved it, but I'm pretty sure our parents were just slightly less enthused.
Whenever I think of summer in the '90s, my mind drifts to memories of starting my play time by heading outside right after breakfast and not coming back inside until the street lights turned on. I remember water balloon fights and lemonade stands that never made any money. Pool parties. Barbecues. Catching fireflies in the backyard. Trying to do fancy tricks on my in-line skates and then falling and sliding down the pavement and taking off the first five layers of skin on my left leg. Good times. Good times.
But with all the good came certain drawbacks, and summertime in the '90s wasn't all fun and games. We had to make some serious decisions and deal will legitimate disadvantages. Don't let anybody tell you that being a kid is easy.
1. Having To Refill Your Super Soaker Mid Combat
2. When You Veered Off-Course On The Slip 'N Slide
JK, guys! Totally meant to do that...
3. Missing The Ice Cream Truck
Wave bye-bye to dinner.
4. When The Iron-On Patches Fell Off Your Jean Shorts
Anyone hating on iron-on patches can eat my shorts. Those things were dope.
5. Melted Bubble Beeper Gum In Your Pocket
A parent have to scrape it off with their fingernail, and then no one was happy.
6. Fully Botching Your Homemade Tie-Dye Shirt
Now what would you wear with your super hip velcro sandals?
7. Losing Your Concentration Playing Skip-It
Focus. Fooocus. Foooooc — son of a beeotch, that's my shin.
8. When Your Hacky Sack Got Dirty
You thought you were all that and a bag of chips with your slick moves. No.
9. DIY Hemp Necklaces Gone Wrong
Mine were always just a series of regular knots, but they still looked dope... NOT.
10. Lukewarm Juice Boxes
Because nothing stayed cold for long in the summer sun.
11. Toe Socks With Flip Flops, Because Why?
You wanted the best of both worlds, but it just felt like you had crud in between your toes.
12. Having To Sacrifice Nickelodeon Marathons
You opted for outdoor play instead of TV time. Life is about compromise.
13. When The Velcro On Your Magic Mitt Stopped Sticking
Someone had one job, and it was to make sure the velcro never stopped working. I'm still salty about this.
14. When Your Chip 'N Dale Ice Cream Melted In The Sun
Sticky ice cream melting down my hand totally had me wiggin' out.
15. When Your Mr. Frosty Malfunctioned
What's the dealio? You didn't spend your parents hard-earned money for this.
16. Getting Caught In The Human Chain During Red Rover
Minus 10 points for a lack of athletic prowess.