It's no secret that Harry Potter fans — Potterheads, if you will — are not to be messed with. Those who love magic more than they love their friends are a strange and passionate bunch, and they're always ready to debate whether or not Snape was good or evil, or if Fred Weasley's death was more or less heartbreaking than Lupin's. Fans of Harry Potter argue with each other almost as much as they argue with people who aren't part of the fandom — almost. HP fans might be all about the triumph of good over evil and magic and unicorns, but hell hath no fury like a Potter fan angered. To avoid being consumed by an angry mob of wizards, below are 17 things Harry Potter fans are tired of hearing, and that you should really avoid saying if you want them not to practice the killing curse on you.
It's not that Harry Potter fans aren't willing to hear criticism, or don't see the merit in shipping Harry and Hermione (no matter how little merit there is to be found there). It's just that we don't care for the Harry Potter haters out there. It's hard out there for a Potterhead, and muggles just don't understand the sanctity of HP. If you're a Potter fan, then you're probably sick and tired of hearing these 17 critiques.
1. "Harry Potter Is So Overrated"
No, actually, Harry Potter enchanted millions across the world and has continued to be a classic book for multiple generations of readers, both young and old.
2. "I've Never Read The Books, But I Like The Movies"
Well, you're really missing out.
3. "Aren't You A Little Old For Harry Potter?"
Um, no, and why are you judging me for finding joy and wonderment in a fabulous book series?
4. "The Movies Are Better Than The Books"
Nobody has time for this. Nobody.
5. "Why Didn't They Have Electricity At Hogwarts?"
Because magic. Duh.
6. "I Don't Like Magic"
I guess you also don't like sunshine and all things good?
7. "What's A Muggle?"
If you gotta ask, then I think you've answered your own question.
8. "J.K. Rowling Isn't A Good Writer"
Have you created a fictional universe so intricate and detailed that it could sustain seven books and multiple spinoff projects? I didn't think so.
9. "Why Do You Care So Much About Something That's Not Real?"
Harry Potter might be fictional, but that doesn't mean that its impact on fans isn't real. What else is imagination for than to embrace the impossible from time to time?
10. "Hermione And Ron Have No Chemistry"
No matter how you feel about Hermione and Ron ending up together, questioning their chemistry just doesn't make any sense.
11. "Harry Should Have Died At The End"
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
12. "Hogwarts Teachers Should Have Been Fired For Child Endangerment"
This one's actually kind of true. I mean, almost all the Defense Against The Dark Arts teachers have tried to kill students, Snape and Umbridge were downright abusive, and Slughorn created a creepy student society. But, then what fun would HP be without them?
13. "What's So Great About Hogwarts, Anyways?"
14. "I Used To Be Into Harry Potter, Like, When I Was A Kid"
Good for you, you've lost your sense of childlike wonder. Have fun watching documentaries for the rest of your life.
15. "Harry Is The Worst Character Ever"
Harry Potter, like all of us, went through an admittedly rough teenage emo phase (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix are prime examples), but he's far from the worst character ever. That's just rude.
16. "Quidditch Isn't A Real Sport"
Yeah, neither is American football to most of the world.
17. "Draco Malfoy Is The Real Hero"
All Harry Potter fans know that Malfoy is one of the more interesting and conflicted characters in the book series, but in the beginning, he was pretty damn terrible. So, let's not get carried away.
In conclusion, say any of these things to a true Harry Potter fan, and you'll be in for a long debate.
Images: Warner Bros; Giphy (16)