With over 400 million copies sold worldwide, it is hard to believe there are still people out there who haven't read the Harry Potter book series, but it's true, they do exist. Whenever a serious Potterhead meets one of these rare beings there are immediate questions Harry Potter-lovers have for anyone who hasn't read to book, starting with, "Do you want to start reading them right now?"
For Harry Potter fans, the series is more than a collection of seven fantasy books for young readers. Its a part of our childhood, a resource we turned to when we were growing up, an escape from our boring Muggle lives. Harry, Ron, and Hermione are more than just book characters, too. They are role models, heroes, and fictional friends we carry in our hearts. Reading them (or rereading them) is a truly magical experience, and one that sticks with fans of the books long after they've turned the last page. It's just one of those series.
The Harry Potter phenomenon — and that's exactly what it is, a phenomenon — has touched the lives of millions of readers all over the country, it's hard to imagine that there are still people out there who haven't had the joy of reading the stories. So, whenever someone admits that they haven't read the Harry Potter series, here are the 11 questions HP-fans have for them. Because really, we're just trying to understand how you've let yourself miss out for this long.
1. "Would you like to borrow my copy?"
You must not have read the books because you don't have them, right? I know, the waiting list at the library can be pretty long. Why don't you borrow mine? I have more than one...
2. "Have you seen the movies?"
Wait, so you haven't read the original books, but you've seen the movies, right? You know who Emma Watson is, don't you? Please say yes.
3. "How can you call yourself a fan?"
You're telling me you didn't bother reading the books, but you saw the movies? And you still call yourself a fan? You don't deserve that Gryffindor scarf...
4. "Do you know how to read?"
If you haven't read Harry Potter yet, it must mean you don't know how to read. That is the only reasonable explanation, right? You know, they do have it on audiobook if you just want to listen. Warning: people may get offended if you ask this.
5. "How have you avoided it for this long?"
Harry Potter is everywhere, and I mean everywhere, from the bookstores to the movie theaters to the subway, because you know at least one person on your train is reading it, so how have you avoided it this long? Are you oblivious, or choosing to ignore some of the best books that have ever been written?
6. "Are you being punished for something?"
Did you do something wrong as a kid that made your parents take Harry Potter away from you? Are you repenting for something? I'm just trying to understand why you would torture yourself by not reading these incredible books. No, really.
7. "Don't you feel left out?"
There are hundreds of millions of people who have read the Harry Potter books, and you're saying you aren't one of them? Don't you feel left out all the time? Doesn't your bookshelf seem emptier than others?
8. "What did you read as a child?"
If your adolescence wasn't defined by Harry Potter, what was it defined by? Do you even know who you are as a person? What books did you read, because I'm telling you, Harry Potter is probably better.
9. "So you haven't understood most of my references, huh?"
I know we just met, but I'm guessing you didn't get my punny Harry Potter joke earlier, huh? If only I had a Time-Turner to go back in time and take those references back.
10. "Are you evil?"
Listen, there are two kinds of people in this world: those who read Harry Potter, and those who don't. I haven't proven it yet, but the latter group have some pretty nasty qualities, so.... are you evil like Voldemort, too? Did you even get that reference?
See also "Huh?", "Are you serious?", "Is this a sick joke?", and "No, but really?"
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