Revenge-Ready Lines From 'The O.C.'

Even nearly a decade after The O.C.’s flash-foward finale, I still look to Newport’s Valley Girl extraordinaire, Summer Roberts, for guidance. Not only did she manage to snag our flawless fictional emo boyfriend Seth Cohen, Summer Roberts was famed for her sassiness and style alike. You could argue that her original status as one of the Harbor School’s elite molded her into a mean girl, and there’s a kernel of truth in that. But at the end of the series you got to saw her layers, and for that, who wouldn’t want to borrow a Summer Roberts one-liner to dismiss your everyday annoyances and arch-nemeses?

Sure enough, I've collected a fun cocktail of Summer quotes that you can co-opt for your own purposes. It’s a mix of high end and low end disses; certainly not everyone is at the caliber of a sardonic Cohenism. Hell, some of them were barely flat-out insults when put back into contexts. Regardless, this mélange should give you plenty to reap the next time you have to scold your selfish BF or get an Uber for your trashed bestie.

So I present to you, fellow O.C. fanatics, the following Summer-y selections to use on the people who get under your skin.

1. "I Suffer From Rage Blackouts."

This isn't a witticism so much as it's a truth about Little Miss Vixen, her surprising super power. Still, I think this is a great way to disarm unwelcome advances next time you're getting hit on at a bar.

2. "What’s More Fun Than Watching Some Nerdy Neurotic Bat His Eyelashes At His Pixie Chick?"

So your ex-beau and his new girlfriend (who's the cashier at a vegan bakery, OMG) just RSVP-ed to a mutual friend's Facebook event. This should be a good way to "politely" decline the invite.

3. "It Doesn’t Matter, I’m Too Tired To Care."

This one's simple and pretty much applicable to any and every life situation... but it works best as a response to anything anyone says to you before you have your coffee.

4. "It’s Like One Guitar And A Whole Lot Of Complaining."

Hey, do not insult Death Cab. Feel free to unearth this one on anyone else's horrible taste in music, though.

5. "I Was Really Good At Ignoring You. Now I'm Just Getting Back In Shape."

Keep it in your back pocket next time you get another "u up" text.

6. "Your Breath Smells Like Marissa."

Or, you know, [insert name of your one trainwreck amateur alcoholic friend here] in case that reference would be lost on non-O.C. fans.

7. "Oh, Sweetie, Do You Realize How Lame You Just Sounded?"

The "sweetie" is v, v important for softening the blow.

8. "How Can You Live Like This? Your T-shirts Are Touching Your Sweaters!"

A good one for the fashion-challenged.

9. "I Hope You Have Motrin In The House, Because You’re About To Feel Pain."

Make yourself look intimidating, despite being 5'3''.

10. "Ew, Random."

Something concise for the next time you get chatted up by a busboy, but you know what else works well? How about...

11. "You're Not Seth Cohen."

This was said mournfully, but I can't think of a more perfect dismissal than this one.

Images: Warner Bros. TV; Giphy (11)