Would Stassi Go on 'Survivor'?

I am very groggy today. I don’t know if it’s because it’s Friday or that I didn’t sleep well last night, but boy howdy if my mind don't feel like a smashed up wad of cooked spaghetti noodles. How does one attempt to cure cooked spaghetti noodle brain? By listening to the newest episode of The Right Reasons podcast, of course.YAAAAY FRIDAY! I can always depend on The Right Reasons for a good laugh or two (or one million). However, I didn’t anticipate Juliet Litman interviewing Vanderpump Rules' Stassi Schroeder. Oh my god.

Okay. This is a monumental occasion. My favorite podcast plus the venerable Stassi Schroeder? I thought upon reading the ep description. Is this real life?!

It is real life.

The interview is perfect. They talk all things Vanderpump Rules, which is all I could ever hope for. As frank (oh, hi there, season 1 joke) as Stassi is about the show, she seems like a delightful person. Ugh I just want to be her friend.

I feel so invigorated and alive after listening to the pod. My cooked spaghetti noodle brain is no more. Pasta la vista, noodle brain!

A few choice excerpts from the chat:

She's Been Doing Her Thing

Since she left SUR, Stassi's been plugging along at her fashion/writing career: “Just getting my blog up, I’ve meeting with accessories designers and up-and-coming designers about styling for them."

"I’m just trying to find myself and live a healthy life and be in a healthy relationship and be normal.”

Live that life, Stass. Always and forever rooting for you.

She Might've Been The "Mean Girl" Of The Cast...

...but she's actually quite sweet: “I want to be somebody that helps teenagers and young twenty-somethings with styling and feeling comfortable with themselves," she says. "I really want to relate with girls and show them how easy it is to put together looks that look high fashion that are affordable and are super simple ... I’d love to write a book about that. I’m developing a style blog, and I’d love that to be a major component of it.”

She Isn't BFFs With The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

"They're always friendly, and very nice, but it's kind of like, we feel a little inferior ... There's still this dynamic that they're superior to us."

Or With Jax

“I have nothing to say about that person. Honestly. I have no communication, I refuse to ever be in the same area … The reunion was my last time. I was like, ‘Okay, we’ll be professional one last time and be around this person and tolerate this person.’ And that’s it."

Or With Kristen

“Obviously, I would never be friends … I don’t wish her any ill-will, I don’t have any bad feelings, I just want to not be around her."

And She Thought She Was Asked to be Scheana's Bridesmaid for the Show

“I felt then that I would be a bridesmaid for TV."She does say that she thinks Scheana’s wedding will be on Vanderpump Rules.

She's Weirded That Some of The Exes Of the Cast Still Hang Out

“That’s not normal! … [Kristen and Tom Sandoval] have ruined each others’ lives! … And all because you’re on this show you think, We need to hang out with each other because we’re on this show. Okay. There’s more to life.”

The One Thing She Misses...

“I actually miss SUR’s food. It’s really good.”

Fame Changes People, But It Changed SUR Most of All

“[SUR] used to have nothing but regulars, and now it’s all tourists."

She Probably Won't Stop By SUR Any Time Soon

“I wish I could go see Guilermo and Natalie and some of my friends who still work there who weren’t on the show, but I don’t want to risk running into someone I don’t care to see. And I also don’t want the attention. It’s just so overwhelming to like walk in there and just have people staring at you. The room kind of goes quiet.”

New Relationship Or Not, She Was Ready To Quit SUR

“Even while we were filming, I wasn’t working that much because it’s overwhelming working at the restaurant. You’re like a caged animal. People are coming in and expecting to take a photo with you, and it’s like, ‘No, I’m working. I’m not being paid to take photos all night long, for you to stand in line.’ That’s not fair. I’m not a zoo animal. I have to serve food. I need to do my job. I would go to the bathroom three or four times a night, have a drink, have a cigarette, you know … and then calm down, and then I’d go back out. It just got miserable. So I would’ve left regardless.”

The Show Is Pretty Real

“There’s a certain degree of ‘amping things up,’ and sometimes you have conversations with people you wouldn’t normally have. But for the most part, most of the things really went down.”

I'm going to assume "amping things up" means "hurling violent imagery at people."

Line of the season? Probably.

Would She Ever Go on Survivor?

“No, you don’t get to wear makeup.”

A Stassi Spinoff Isn't Not A Possibility

Stassi never explicitly confirms or denies her own Vanderpump spinoff, but she cryptically says "Thank you. I hope I get one" when Juliet brings it up. There isn't video, but I imagine a wink happens.

AHHHHHHH. G'bless.