Grab your chainsaws, fellow fans of shark content, because Shark Week's weird cousin is back. Yup, Sharknado Weekend 2016 has arrived. On Sunday evening, the latest installment in the made-for-TV movie franchise about what happens when cyclones and sharks join forces and attack humankind premiered on Syfy. And though I have yet to actually tuck into Sharknado 4: The Fourth Awakens (I just didn’t have time to get to it last night, OK? It’s waiting for me on my DVR, don’t judge me, please stop giving me that look, I really don’t need any snark-nado right now, et cetera), I can say the following with complete certainty: Sharknado 4 is my favorite Sharknado movie. Why? Because Bravolebrities/exes/icons/heroes Stassi Schroeder and Jax Taylor are in Sharknado 4 .
Yes, Taylor and Schroeder's cameos are enough to make me Stan for the followup to Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!. And yes, I am positive the Vanderpump Rules powerhouses will deliver unforgettable performances. And yes, I've been stoked about Sharknado 4 ever since Taylor announced the cameos on Instagram. And yes, my Pump Rules love runs deeper than a never-ending pitcher of LVP Sangria. Look, I mean zero offense to Benjy Bronk or Seth Rollins or Wayne Newton or any of the other celebrities to show up in the new movie, but nothing fills the cockles of my soul quite like the idea of the two Sexy Unique Restaurant legends fending off an airborne army of bloodthirsty sharks.
This video means so much to me:
And the same can be said about this screengrab:
WAIT. WAIT WAIT WAIT. STASSI’S CHARACTER DIES?!?!?!?! Like, I know I shouldn’t be surprised (it’s a Sharknado movie, for Fin’s sake!), but that spoiler still shook me to my core. Eh, I suppose that's what I get for not watching Sharknado 4 the evening it aired. SURves me right.