Being able to easily feel sexy when you're naked has almost nothing to do with how you look. It's pretty much all about how you feel. You can start working out to change areas you don't like, and covering up imperfections that bother you, but because you're human, and because there are no shortages of messages in our culture about how we always seem to fall short of body perfection, it's possible that you may always find something new to dislike about yourself. Sure, there are some things that might bother you (especially if you're really self conscious about them), and it's OK to change your body. It's your body, after all. But on the whole, feeling sexier naked is an inside job.
Even when you do change something about your body, the confidence boost you get is going to be mental and physical. So how can you get this confidence party started inside of your body so you can radiate that sexiness when you're nude? It's a process that will look different for every person, but there are some good places to start. And remember, you don't have to apologize or justify any of the decisions you make about your body, including how you feel about your naked self. So don't be ashamed, whether you're a workout buff, a plastic surgery fan, or somewhere in between. Your choices are valid, no matter what. But we could all use some inner maintenance when it comes to our bodies.
1. Fire Up Your Inner Feminist
Feminism changed my whole relationship with my body, especially when I learned that beauty was a social construct — it's something humans made up. Different bodies and body types have been considered beautiful throughout history. Plus, while the beauty industry can be about empowerment and self expression, marketers can also use our insecurities to help sell products. They often also promote one strict idea of beauty. My point? You have to understand that there's nothing wrong with or unsexy about your body. You're not operating from a deficit of sexiness. And you have all the power to decide what's sexy. It's like Peter Pan's flying skills. You just have to believe.
2. Deconstruct Your "Flaws"
When you start to pick apart your body and hate on your flaws, make a point to stop yourself and ask some questions. Are they really flaws? Who says? Have you received any negative feedback about them, or do you just assume people judge you based on this flaw? If you take a good, hard look at your flaws, you'll realize that many of them are just battles you're creating and feeding inside your own head. Try to turn your flaws into neutral or positives.
3. Take Bodies Out Of The Equation
Sometimes when I can't even deal with my body image issues anymore, I just decide to take my body out of the equation, mentally. I remind myself that I find intelligence, kindness, and humor incredibly sexy, and that I posses all of those qualities. My sexiness is the same, naked or not, because it's not body-based. It could be body based, because there's nothing wrong with my plus-sized, big hipped, hairy body, but sometimes that mental stuff is such a turn on.
4. Spoil Yourself
When you're pampered, you feel good about yourself. Maybe all you need in order to feel that little confidence boost is to get a hair cut or a fresh wax. Maybe you need to dye your pit hair bright green. Maybe you just need a new eyeliner. Or a massage. Felling like you're at your best translates into confidence, which translates into buckets of sexiness.
5. Focus On The Positive
Think about what you love, not what you hate. If you don't like your thighs and your feet, but you're cool with everything else, then do the math. That's a low number of things to hate and a high number of things to love. Why do the things you hate get all the play? Psh. Until you make peace with those parts, just take them off the roll call. Own the parts you love and work it.
6. Ask For Input
Ask your partner what they love most about you and play up those assets. If you know your partner is really into your breasts when you're naked, getting some lingerie or a great bra, or a making your breast skin super soft with a luxurious cream might make you feel even more confident. And keep in mind, this isn't about your partner at all. It's about how you feel. Asking your partner what they love about you is just a good place to start if you're feeling a little lost when it comes to body love.
7. Take Care Of Yourself
When you're healthy, you're sexy. When you're hydrated, well rested, nourished, and not over-stressed, you'll sleep better, work better, and feel better. Plus, you'll have more energy and stamina for what happens after your clothes come off. Of course, the hungover, extra fries, running late for everything version of yourself is sexy, too. But healthy is better. Let's just be real.
8. Ask For Compliments
It's true that you don't need anyone's approval but your own, but it's also nice, and a good boost, when the person you're getting down with tells you what they like about you. A partner who thinks you're really sexy, and who tells you how sexy you are on the regular, will make you want to rip your clothes off instead of sneaking out of them when the lights go out.
9. Be With People Who Make You Feel Good About Yourself
If the person you're with doesn't think you're sexy, they don't get the privilege of seeing you naked. Period. You in your nude glory is a gift for the worthy.
10. Nurture Your Self-Esteem
What are you good at? Do more of that. Lady bosses (or bosses of all/no genders) are hot AF. Artists are so hot. Musicians are so hot. Parents doing the jobs of 20 people at once are hot. Runners are hot. Video game masters are hot. There's a certain sexiness that comes with being in the flow state of doing what you love. It's a sexiness that's hard to ignore. Do your thang, and know that you're awesome at it. Accept the sexiness that it brings.
11. Stop Negative Thinking In Its Tracks
You're naked and that's awesome. Whether you're about to have sex, or you're just dancing around your apartment, there's an explosion of sexiness happening. No room for negative thinking. You have to make it a practice to interrupt negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones if you want to banish them. They're sexiness killers. Plus, it's not like your negative thoughts are going to accomplish anything good, so they're basically useless. All your thoughts are now this: Dang, I'm sexy. Like, pure fire.
It's amazing how much sexier you can fee without doing a single crunch or eating a single piece of kale, isn't it?
Images: Pexels (12); Bustle