So, you’ve been with your partner for a few years, and the sex used to be fun and exciting, and now it’s just kind of…blah. Don't worry, it happens. In fact, a 2015 study from Ludwig Maximilian University found that sexual satisfaction in relationships peak at about the one-year mark. Sad, but true. Realistically, relationships are going to go through changes. Sometimes you might even find yourself getting bored in your long-term relationship. So if you’re in a long-term relationship and feel like your sex life is getting a little stale, there are plenty of sex moves to try and important things to keep in mind.
“Always remember that relationships aren’t always going to be hot and heavy or identical to when you first meet,” Logan Levkoff, Ph.D., sexologist and sexuality educator tells Bustle. Time changes your relationship and the type of intimacy you and your partner experience may deepen. If you’re looking to shake things up, the first thing you need to do is "know where you’re starting from and not mimic" what used to be. In order to do so, Levkoff believes it’s all about “reframing first.”
“What would make things feel exciting? What is it you want to try?” Levkoff says. “What’s ‘spicy’ to one may not seem spicy to the other. But whatever you do decide to do, just make sure it’s pleasurable for both parties. “If it’s not enjoyable, then who cares?” Levkoff points out.
“Increasing the sexual experimentation and excitement in a relationship means you have to understand the emotional or mental reasons excitement occurs,” Lisa Strohman JD, PhD Founder & Director of Technology Wellness Center and licensed clinical psychologist tells Bustle. “The pleasure system is our center of emotions, drives, impulses, and desires. If you can stop thinking about all of the demands you have on your schedule and start to spend a little time working on feeling sexy, available and open you can change this pattern.”
Here are seven sex moves you should try if you’re starting to feel bored in your LTR:
1. Sex Standing Up
“The concept of being ‘swept off your feet’ is a social concept that still packs an intense punch,” Strohman says. It demonstrates strength, power and control.
2. Get North Of The Clitoris
Many women know of the pleasures the clit can bring. But according to Strohman, hitting north of the clitoris can be just as good, if not better. As Strohman says, “This is a specific spot that can be highly sensitive to women and can be touched while stimulating other areas for a unique sensation.”
3. It’s All About Angles
Angles can be everything in the bedroom. Oral sex, in particular, can feel like the first time each time by changing these. “Having your partner on all fours and laying underneath on a pillow can create a new pleasurable sensation that she has never experienced before,” Strohman says.
4. Bring On The Blindfolds
Try some experimentation with some blindfolds. As Strohman suggests, follow your partner’s curves with some different senses for a new adventure.
5. Do Something Unexpected
Set up a bubble bath or spray a new scent in special spots before getting in bed. As Strohman says, allowing yourself to get into the part and detach from the realities of work, kids, life, etc. can help bring something new. That could even include turning off the TV and lighting some candles to set the mood. Or checking your closet for something sexy.
Sexting can be great foreplay. Sending sexy texts to your partner throughout the day can keep you both excited for whatever may go down when you get home.
7. Get A New Toy
"No one’s suggesting you go out and buy bondage equipment," Levkoff says. "It can be as simple as moving things to a new room or going to your local drug store and shopping for lubes or vibrators to try. It doesn’t have to be giant bold moves.”
Images: Fotolia; Andrew Zaeh for Bustle; Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle; Giphy