I’m all about sex toy innovation. I mean, the more options out there the merrier, right? We’re all shaped a little bit differently and like different things, so having more options means more of us can have more fun. Because I love diversity, whenever a new toy class comes out, I get pretty excited. Toys that you can control with a remote? So cool! Vibrators that stay on you without your having to hold them? Awesome! Toys that get you off without your having to move? Hell yes! So when I learned that there was a new sex toy on the market called The Satisfyer Pro 2 boasting “touch-free climaxing,” I knew I had to give it a whirl.
Although it looks a lot like the much-hyped oral sex simulator The Womanizer, The Satisfyer Pro 2's marketing is somewhat more mysterious. With 11 programs and "innovative pressure wave stimulation" the manufacturer promises "contact-free enjoyment, which can be experienced everywhere and anywhere thanks to the rechargeable batteries."
Sounds good, but I mean, how is a toy going to get me off without even touching me? Will it just look at me really intently or something? I had to know more, so I grabbed one and charged it up to check out for myself. Here's what I thought.
How The Satisfyer Pro 2 Works
The toy itself is a long, thin device that looks kind of like that thing your doctor uses to look in your ears — that is, if you had a super fancy doctor whose devices were all rose gold colored plastic (it’s called an otoscope, I learned for the purposes of this article). On the end that you put on your pussy (yeah we’ll get to that, it actually does touch your body), there’s a soft plastic cap with a hole in it. That hole goes around your clitoris, so that your clit is engulfed but not touched. The cap rests on the skin around your clit.
Here’s where the wild tech stuff comes in. The Satisfyer Pro 2 says it uses “intensive pressure waves and tingling pulsation” to get you off. No touch, just motion going around your clit, through the air. Whoosh! Basically, as it turned out, the technology is not so different than The Womanizer — the main differences are that The Satisfyer Pro 2 can be used in the water, and at less than $50, is much cheaper.
What It Was Like To Put On
The Satisfyer user’s guide boasts that this toy is hands-free — as in, once you get it situated, you don’t have to move it. I laid on my back and, as the user guide (and my previous experience with toys) dictated, put a small dollop of water-based lube on my clit. I turned the toy onto the first and lowest setting, and then put it on me so that the mouth part (I can’t decide which body part it most resembles, to be honest) was resting all around my clit, and the handle part was pointing down between my legs.
When I put it on, it was already vibrating (or pulsing is actually more accurate, or maybe whirling?) to create the suction so it would stay in place. Because it was already moving, it got my body feeling great pretty immediately.
I will say that the guide makes it seem like once it’s on you, it stays on. I found that the suction wasn’t as perfect as all that. I had to put my hand on it every once and a while to reseal it around my clit. And when I flipped it so that the handle was pointing up toward my face, I had a hard time getting any suction to maintain. It felt like gravity was working against me. But then again, I’m pretty squirmy when I’m having fun, so that might not be an issue for other users.
What It Was Like To Play With
I was immediately impressed by the sensations being transmitted to my clit from the no-touch vibrations of the Satisfyer. The first level was pretty calm and gentle, and each subsequent level went up at a nice interval so I could really get a range of intensity. I found that it was even nicer to push down on the head of it to get better suction and more intensity.
The pulsation itself was really lovely. I’d say it was kind of like getting wind blown at my clit from all sides simultaneously, but in a not-cold way. It actually felt like something was touching me, but not in that overly intense way that can happen with some vibrating toys when they touch your clit directly.
What It Was Like In The Bath
The Satisfyer is waterproof and they urge you to try it out in the bath, saying this provides stronger pulsation. So I hopped into a warm bath to try it out.
The pulsations under the water were a bit stronger, and it was easier for the toy to suction onto my body. However, while the toy connected to my body more easily at first, it also floated a bit, so I had to keep a hand on the top of the toy to keep it in place. If being in a bath turns you on and that’s where you like to play, this is a great toy to bring in with you. But I don’t think it’s critical to use it in this setting to get its full effect.
What It Was Like To Use With A Lover
Since I was having so much fun with the Satisfyer Pro 2, I figured I’d invite my partner in on it. Unfortunately, this didn’t go so well. As I mentioned previously, I personally had trouble getting the suction to work when the handle was pointing up toward my face. This means that the whole handle sits between my legs when I use this toy, pretty much completely blocking my vaginal passage. My sweetie and I tried a few different configurations, but couldn’t find one that included both vaginal penetration and this toy being able to stay on my clit. It could, however, be great for anal sex. And it’s totally possible that if you try, you’ll find positions that work for you.
I usually like something inside me when I’m playing, so I was a bit skeptical of a toy that didn’t have an internal vaginal part. However, I was extremely and delightedly surprised by the Satisfyer Pro 2. It gave me multiple fully clitoral orgasms, which never happens for me otherwise. The technology clearly works, at least for me! If you want a suction-style toy with a cheaper price-point than The Womanizer and/or you want a suction-style toy you can use in the bath, I highly recommend it.
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Images: Satisfyer Pro 2; Marley Russel, Giphy