The Worst Halloween Treats Of The '90s

Who didn't love dressing up in costume and trick or treating in the '90s? No one. That's who. Of course, for all its fun, trick or treating is also always a gamble; it doesn't take much prompting to remember what we were afraid to get while trick or treating in the '90s. Sure, there was plenty of really good stuff: Peanut butter cups, king-size candy bars, and even the occasional packages of Dunkaroos and Ring Pops. But these gems were true treats, and often required a lot of digging through stuff that turned our stomachs sour on the first bite.

Luckily, as adults, we are free to ransack the candy aisle whenever we want for whatever our hearts desire. Sure, it's not nearly as exciting as people giving you free candy, but there is a certain power and autonomy to be had when you can simply walk into your local convenience store and purchase your favorite sweet treat. And as an adult, you don't even need to share your candy with your parents or siblings. That's right: You can count out that sugary goodness and pat yourself on the back for a purchase well made — even more so if you got it on sale the day after Halloween.

But when it came to trick or treating in the '90s, there were definitely some treats we definitely could have skipped. These were definitely some of the biggest disappointments in the trick or treating game:

1. Black Licorice

Good & Plenty were the bane of my existence as a kid on Halloween. The pink and white colors look super pretty, but I could never get into the bitter licorice beneath the surface. Interestingly, Good & Plenty is the oldest branded candy in the United States, though, so maybe they're just an acquired taste that gets better with age.

2. School Supplies

Sigh. While getting new school supplies is fun in September, it's not so fun on Halloween. Who needs that many erasers, anyway?

3. Mary Janes

No matter how great your grandparents were, you know at one point or another they tried to get you to eat Mary Jane candies. And yeah, they probably gave them to you and all of your friends on Halloween, too.

4. Toothbrushes

While taking care of your teeth and overall oral hygiene is obviously important, it's also a bit of a buzzkill to get a toothbrush and floss in your Halloween basket.

5. Malted Milk Balls

They look like balls of chocolate joy... but they're actually chalky and dry on the inside. Biggest bummer ever.

6. An IOU

Who doesn't remember the year their flustered neighbor literally gave them an IOU for Halloween candy? We shouldn't judge too much, though, because we never know when that could happen to us!

7. Coins

While spare change is actually pretty convenient to have around for many adults, it's not necessarily exciting for kids. Especially when you're going to lose it in your living room rug when you dump all of your candy on the floor anyway.

8. Pamphlets

Whether the pamphlets pertained to religion, politics, or an otherwise general interest, I was having none of it on Halloween. I wanted all the sweets and none of the informational readings, thank you.

9. Bit-O-Honey

This vintage candy goes back to 1924. In theory, it doesn't sound too bad: Almonds and honey are a nice combination. This candy's failing on Halloween, however, is how sticky it is. It gets stuck in your teeth and takes a lifetime to chew. There is no time for that when Reese's are around!

10. Popcorn Balls

Popcorn is for movies, thank you very much.

11. Apples

Ah, yes. The tradition of handing out "healthy" sugar to trick or treaters on Halloween. Not only do apples bruise easily in your bag, but some parents don't actually let their kids eat them, given that they don't come in a wrapper. Better be safe than sorry and dig into a Crunch bar instead, am I right?

Images: PBS; Giphy (10)