Nothing had greater potential for making a '90s kid feel totally uncomfortable than a school dance. You had to master the perfect outfit, the perfect hairdo, and all the hottest songs and dance moves. I feel like we were basically set up for failure, because there were so many awkward things we experienced at school dances in the '90s. (I can confirm this from personal experience.) Factor in our erratic hormones and our desperate need to fit in, and it makes sense why most of us ended the night in our room crying hysterically with Zebra Cakes and box of tissues.
I think the most awkward part for me was the dancing — ironic, considering I was a trained dancer. But I was already a social weirdo and a complete introvert; put me in a gym with tons of people where I don't know the words to any of the songs and I'm sweating bullets in my dress, and you have the makings for an incredibly uncomfortable night. And yet, I still insisted on going to every single dance I was invited to. And even a few that I wasn't. Because of course.
In case all your memories of '90s school dances are fond ones, allow me to remind you of these 13 awkward moments.
1. When You Couldn't Do The Hammer Because Of Your Chunky Mary Jane Heels
Don't let anyone tell you you had it easy growing up.
2. When The Olive Garden Didn't Hold Your Reservation Because You Showed Up Late
OMG. Humiliating. Now where are we going to go for bottomless breadsticks?
3. When Your Round, Tinted Sunglasses A La Mary Kate And Ashley Didn't Match Your Tulle Gown
Fashion faux pas. Go home.
4. When Your Dance Partner Poked You In The Eye With His Gelled, Frosted Tips
Only Mark McGrath could pull that off.
5. When You Messed Up The Lyrics To Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know"
It's "cross I bear" — not "cross-eyed bear." You're such an L7 weenie.
6. When You Accidentally Smudged Your Frosted Lipstick
What would Pamela Anderson say if she saw you like this?
7. When Your Twisty-'Do-With-The-Spiked-Tips Hairstyle Fell Flat
Your hairdo turned into a major hairdon't. Should've gone with the mini buns like Gwen Stefani.
8. When Your Pager Wouldn't Fit In Your Tiny Beaded Purse
There just wasn't enough room with the five tubes of flavored Lip Smackers you insisted on bringing.
9. When Your Roll-On Body Glitter Got All Over Your Shawl
You're a hot mess.
10. When You Forgot How To Do The Electric Slide
11. When You Had No One To Tie You Into Your Corset Top
Impossible to do on your own if you're not a contortionist.
12. When Your Mom Got Her Thumb In Every Single Picture She Took On Her Disposable Camera
Awkward: Level 10. Thanks a million for the memories, parental unit.
13. When There Wasn't Enough Room In The Limo To Do The Tootsie Roll
So you tried to do a mini version sitting down, and it was just all kinds of no.
Images: Buena Vista Pictures; Giphy (13)