Perhaps the only thing more entertaining than this entire election season has been the media coverage of it. I learned long ago to take the news with a grain of salt, because it's an interpretation of reality — not a transparent reflection of it. That being said, the funniest Election Day headlines took my Tuesday from "Is it Friday yet?" to "Who wrote this brilliant piece of art?" And in a time when politics has perhaps taken away some of our faith in humanity (I know it certainly has for me), I think we could all use a little levity in our lives.
My eyes learned long ago to skim past most of the headlines I see, because I've run out patience for lying, the spreading of misinformation, racism, sexism, childish namecalling, and the other forms of hate this election has brought out in people. Luckily for me, there are still a few writers out there able to take what has been one scary election and turn it into an entertaining headline capable of putting a smile on my face.
And so, while everyone is busy casting their votes on a day that none of us will ever forget, please enjoy some of the funniest headlines of Election Day.
A Most Brilliant Idea
David Brooks wrote an op-ed piece calling this election a "sociological revolution" and "moral warning," among other things. He suggests that Trump has led a revolt of bigotry, anti-Semitism, and misogyny, with relentless and unapologetic lying, while decimating the "codes of basic decency without paying a price."Let's not do this again, indeed.
In recent news that surprises no one, Politico writer Nolan D. McCaskill hilariously writes, "After much deliberation, the real estate mogul has decided to cast a vote for the Republican presidential nominee." During an interview this morning with Fox & Friends, Trump (comically, although unintentionally so) said, "I've decided to vote for Trump." Someone please talk to him about referring to himself in the third person.
Stevie Wonder Proving That He's Awesome
On Friday, musical genius Stevie Wonder told Philly.com, "If you had an emergency situation and needed to go to the hospital, and you had to get there right away, would you want me driving your car?" Pointing out Clinton's experience in politics compared to Trump's, he added, "This is not a reality show. This is life in reality ... I have always believed that America is great. We’re just going to make it greater." Way to keep it positive, Stevie!
Christie Casting His Vote On The DL
According to this article in NJ.com, for the last seven years, Gov. Chris Christie has never voted without contacting the press about it first and talking to reporters. Today, however, he voted right after the polls opened without making a peep. Hmmmmm.
The Motivation Voters Always Needed
This article rather humorously points out that more people are voting than ever before. In California specifically, they've got the highest number of voters in 20 years. The writer points out that the excitement over Barack Obama in 2008 wasn't "as motivating as the fear and loathing generated by the nominations" of this year's candidates.
There's Actually Someone Who Likes Mike Pence
Market newsletter writer Jim Grant told CNBC, "I'm voting for Pence, [and] apparently Trump is on the same ballot," adding, "There's always hope for impeachment after the election. So we get rid of Trump and get Pence." Because that's a better option? Also, I'm not really sure impeachment should be used as a method for getting your candidate of choice into office. Juuuust sayin'.
The Stuff Nightmares Are Made Of
The headline itself gave me a giggle. The talk behind it, however, was much more disturbing. Trevor Noah, host of The Daily Show, took a break from being funny to get real with viewers, urging them to vote, because now is not the time to sit back. According to The Daily Beast, Noah spoke of Trump, saying, "He has the KKK voting for him. Like, if ever there was a reason to vote, it’s because on the other side the KKK sees an opportunity to come back into the mainstream. That is the scariest shit I have ever come across in my life." Yes, it is. It definitely, definitely is.