It wasn’t until I was out of college and living on my own in New York City that my parents finally let my partner and I sleep together over the holidays. This was a very big deal. I had heard of other parents allowing their kids to share a bed with their partner, but never thought it was in the realm of possibility for me. I thought for sure this would be something that would only be allowed when I got married — if I were to ever get married — but there I was one Christmas, in the bed I slept in growing up, cuddled up against my partner at the time. I was 29. What came next was whether or not to have sex at my parents’ house. Would it be OK?
They had bestowed upon me a right of passage into adulthood by allowing such a thing to happen, so would it be fair to betray their trust and prove that I wasn't adult enough to keep it in my pants? We weighed the pros and cons then… we did it, because of course we did.
With the holidays coming up, it leaves couples to contemplate a very important question: Should we have sex at our relative’s house? As for what you decide is your call, but as someone who managed to refrain from doing it during future holidays at mom and dad’s house, here are five reasons NOT to do it.
1. You’re Going To Have To Mute Yourself
If you’re someone who loves loud, kinky sex where not just the entire bed, but the whole house shakes from your raucousness, then you might want to skip having sex at your relative’s house this holiday season. It’s one thing to have to put the kibosh on your moaning, but it’s another thing to totally mute what you regard as great sex.
2. If You’re Caught… Awkward Much?
Picture this: You’re in the throes of passion and sex and lust and all those great things that come with a proper bang and… in walks your mom, dad, sibling, or that aunt you haven’t seen in years. How is that going to feel? How will you ever face them again? What if it happens before the holiday dinner and you have to leave before enjoying mom’s turkey? There’s a lot of possible awkwardness that can come of having sex at your relative’s house. Sometimes it's best to consider the worst case scenario.
3. It Can Be Considered Disrespectful
Whether or not your family is more comfortable with you and your partner sleeping apart or if they’re OK with you sharing a bed, having sex in someone else’s house can be deemed as rude and disrespectful. This is most especially the case if your relatives — like mom or dad — are in extreme denial that you even have a sex life.
4. You’ll Be Easily Distracted
Great sex means being in the moment and it’s hard to be in the moment when you’re focused on other things like is that mom coming upstairs? Is someone in the bathroom? Can they hear us? It’s a level of paranoia that is likely to suck whatever thrill of having sex at a relative’s house right out of your bones and leave you both aching for something that could have been so much better, if only you just waited until you got home.
5. You Can Probably Wait A Few Days
If you think about the longest period you’ve gone without sex, there’s a good chance it was more than a few days. Since that’s probably the case, you can wait.
While there’s nothing wrong with having sex at a relative’s house and I think it’s naïve for family members to think you won’t do it, considering what’s at stake — good sex versus mediocre to bad sex — waiting just might be your best option.
Images: Fotolia; Giphy