Entertainment

'KUWTK' Is Back & Pole Dance Class Is In Session

by Kristie Rohwedder

They're baaaaack! The first part of the ninth season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians ended less than 90 days ago, but I'd be damned if I said I didn't genuinely miss the show. Yeah, Game Of Thrones keeps us company on Sunday nights, but does it keep us warm? Not like KUWTK does. There is very little that can top Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian attempting to out-pole dance each other in a pole dancing class. That scene from Sunday night's episode was like a Snuggie for my heart. So cozy, so warm. Happy Season 9 part two, everyone.

If you keep up with the Kardashian-Jenner family in the tabloids (you know who you are. Continue to live your truth. We’re all in this together), you may be curious as to which stories will make the show, if certain rumors will be addressed, and how much of Kim and Kanye West’s wedding was captured by the E! cameras (if any of it was filmed at all). Sunday night's ep didn't answer all of our questions (and though I didn't expect all of the questions to be answered, I was surprised at how little happened during the ep. Imma be honest: Not much happened), but it did set the stage for the season to come.

WHERE SEASON 9 PICKS UP:

  • Khloe Kardashian is in the process of moving out of her and Lamar Odom's house. The packing process is complicated. Khloe knows she has to pack, but she really doesn't want to do it. Ya know, because it makes the Khloe/Lamar split all the more real. She's going through some things.
  • Scott Disick is grieving, but, as we learned back in Miraval, Kourtney Kardashian isn't exactly a feelingsy-type. She's left him hanging during his time of need. So, Scott's reached out to Khloe for emotional support.
  • The family is worried about Kourtney's emotionlessness. They let her know.
  • Kourtney wants to be more connected to her emotions. She enlists the help of Tejpal, a healing practitioner. Tejpal tells Kourtney that she should make more time for herself and stop thinking about how she "should" react to things. Kourtney is going to work on this.
  • Kim explains that she and Kris "have always had this, like, funny, weird, cute competition." Khloe says the two of them are in the middle of a "MILF-off."
  • Kris and Kim go to pole dancing class together:[Embed] As comfortable as they are with one another, Kim acknowledges that it's "kind of weird" to go to a pole dancing class with her own mother. No matter! Can't stop, won't stop.
  • Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe happen to drop by Kris's house while Kris is in the middle of a sassy wet t-shirt photo shoot in the backyard. The daughters are mortified. A joke about yeast infections is made. The matriarch's feelings are hurt. Kris tells Kim she's doing the photo shoot because she's excited she's still got it, and that she feels good about herself. She's celebratin'. She wants the daughters to leave her be. Kim gets it.
  • Kourtney's life was changed when she switched from a medium iced tea to a large iced tea.

So, what's going to happen this season? Uh, I don't know about you, but the only thing I remember from the "This season on..." teaser is Brody Jenner fighting a stranger in Thailand. CAAAAAN'T WAAAAAAIT. (Also, thank GOD Brody will be around this season. I was genuinely worried.)

You know how Mercury being in retrograde affects people? I'm affected in a similar way when I don't have new episodes of KUWTK to look forward to every week. But I feel at ease now that KUWTK is back. A sense of calm. A sense of balance. Everything is right again.

Image: E!