Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's Reality Show With His Family Is About a Tanning Salon, Obviously


I thought we were free. I thought we were finally safe from the cultural pollution that is Jersey Shore. Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is engaged and pregnant with her second child, Jenni "JWoww" Farley just had a baby, Vinny Guadagnino had and apparently lost a late-night show. It seemed that Jersey Shore had run its course. But, it turns out someone at the TV Guide Network still has a soft spot for the GTL lifestyle and greenlit the upcoming The Sorrentinos . In case you’ve moved on to other, better television since Jersey Shore ended, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is the one with the abs and the terrible, disgusting attitude.

The Sorrentinos follows Sorrentino and the rest of his family — older brothers, younger sister, and mom — as they run a tanning salon in New Jersey and just live their lives. In an interview with The Daily News, Sorrentino contrasted the show with Jersey Shore, saying, “I wouldn’t say it’s toned down, but it’s a little more mature.” Well, at least it won't be less mature, though is such a thing possible? And "not toned down" probably means there will be a heart-stopping number of bleeps for a TVGN show.

The only good thing about this news is that at the very least, Sorrentino goes on to say it’s helping him stay connected to his family and committed to his sobriety. It’s hard to argue with that. The drunken exploits were the main draw of Jersey Shore, so it’s hard to imagine what exactly will happen in The Sorrentinos. Bold prediction: yelling. Lots of yelling. Yelling, some good Italian-American food, overtanning, and a lot of tearful confrontations that end with “but we’re family!”

I know you have good taste, so you can't possibly be excited for The Sorrentinos, but in case you're morbidly curious, watch a trailer or two. It's… not going to be pretty.

Image: Giphy