Kim Kardashian & Kanye West Are Splitting Up — If You Ask the Tabloids, At Least
Tabloids love, love, love Kim Kardashian. She's rich, she's famous, she has a self-indulgent reality show, and once upon a time, there was that sex tape. And oh, yes! There's that whole marriage to one of the reigning kings of narcissism, Kanye West. It's the marriage that launched tons of blog posts, memes, and a massive amount of media attention (which surely, Kimye loved). But wait! Is their marriage OK? Before you scoff and say that claim sounds like tabloid fodder, let me tell you — it is tabloid fodder. Tabloids are claiming that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's marriage is falling apart or, if you need another option, that the whole thing was a just a sham to begin with. Multiple tabloids, like Star and In Touch Weekly — you know, the beacons of journalism — are reporting that Kardashian and West's marriage is on the rocks, which means love, happiness, and the bond between two extremely egotistical people could be over forever. Oh no! Whatever will we do?! Does Vogue want to revoke that cover now? (Probably not.)
So, is their marriage really doomed? Let's take a look at what the tabloids are saying and rank them on a scale of Truth to Total BS.
Noo!!!! She's alone!!! They've been separated for weeks! (Weird, seeing as they were Instagramming their vacation together.)
Star also says that Kardashian and West will soon pass the 73-day milestone, which might sound like a weird one to celebrate, but it isn't! Star reminds us that Kardashian was only married to Kris Humphries for 72 days. Ohhhh. The tabloid claims that she is "alone and binge eating," which, let me remind you, Star, is something that people in perfectly happy relationships can do, too. The magazine claims that she has gained 22 pounds, and the mag goes as far as pointing out some "back fat" which seems pretty oddly timed considering this bikini selfie that she recently posted:
An "insider" has said Kanye is super controlling so "she ends up indulging in junk food when they’re apart." Apparently, she's also had enough, whatever "enough" is these days. Enough of the no-carb policy? Whatevs, Kanye. You do you, and release a single on your wedding day.
Also, given the addictive powers and success of her newly launched game, I doubt she's feeling super miserable and unsuccessful.
Truth or BS: Given her selfie, it seems unlikely that she gained 22 pounds. Is it possible West is super controlling? Sure, why not, Star. But the Instagrammed vacation kinda speaks itself. Let's give this a "BS+."
Wait, so it was over after 58 days? But didn't Star just say that they were veering towards the magical 73-day mark? I guess technically it's already ended. But more importantly, WHO WILL GET CUSTODY OVER BABY NORTH!?! Stay tuned.
Truth or BS: The only "truth" is that Kanye might have abandoned Kim for a little bit to go record some music or to look in the mirror. I'm calling out BS for any misery, given this happy photo taken when baby North West took her first steps that says, "Mommy & Daddy are so proud of you!!!!" and credits "Daddy" as the photographer.
OK, OK! Whatcha gonna say? I know this is not a magazine nor is it in the US, but it's important to examine at least one other form of tabloid media and at least one other country. So! On July 17, OK! discussed how West wants a boy ("LET'S NAME HIM SOUTH!" Jk! Maybe...) and that Kardashian might be pregnant, but the two would keep things on the DL. That's viable. Would that explain the binge eating, Star?
Truth or BS: An early pregnancy is possible. (Might that have to do with any potential mood swings that "insiders" are discussing?) But Kardashian is the type to Instagram this sort of thing, so we'll have to wait and see. But seriously, here's my vote for South West. The Kardashian-Wests: cartographers.
Life & Style
Meanwhile, over at Life & Style, people could give two shits about this not-really-crumbling marriage and are more interested in royal affairs. So, there's that.
Take your pick about what you believe about the Kardashian-Wests, but let this truth be spoken: If it's real news, you'll see it on Kardashian's Instagram. That's where she gets real. OK, now go back to playing your Kim Kardashian game! You don't want to stay at the D-list, do you?