Jay Z & Beyonce's Divorce Announcement Could Come in Any of These 6 Forms, So Brace Yourself
I don't know about you, but I'm slowly starting to release the breath it feels like I've been holding since the rumors of Beyoncé and Jay Z's impending divorce began to reach a fever pitch. The majority of the stories claimed that Jay Z and Beyoncé would be getting a divorce as soon as the On the Run Tour wrapped up, but the tour is over and Jay Z and Beyoncé are still married. Happily so, even. I'm just about ready to relax into my seat and start cackling every time I see a news story about Jay Z and Beyoncé getting a divorce because, I mean, how do you break up the King and Queen? However, at the risk of getting caught off guard, there's a part of me that can't help but worry that this is just the calm before the storm. What if Jay Z and Beyoncé are working out the best way to separate as we speak?
Beyoncé and Jay Z are both notoriously private folk who give more details about their private lives in their songs than they do in any interview. When it comes to breaking huge news stories, they prefer to be the ones to do it themselves rather than letting the media do its detective work. With that in mind, it would be just like them to ignore any opportunity to make a comment on the divorce rumors and instead announce their separation in their own way. If they do end up making that dreaded divorce announcement, what forms can we expect it to take?
1. A Joint Statement
When the Elevatorgate scandal rippled through the Internet, Beyoncé employed the happy Instagram picture method of dealing with it. Once she realized we weren't biting at that, Beyoncé, Jay Z, and Solange issued a joint statement that politely said, "Yes, that happened, now mind your own business because we're over it." And the world basically listened, such is the power of Beyoncé. When it comes to something this serious, it's the most likely option that Beyoncé and Jay Z are going to release a joint statement that is both polite and respectful.
Beyoncé uses her Instagram for a lot of things, from selfies to family pictures to heartwarming messages marking the end of her tour. She's also used it to wish Obama a happy birthday and commemorate Maya Angelou's death, so it's not all fun and awesome outfits. If she wanted to try to treat this as casually as possible — especially considering my strong belief that Beyoncé and Jay Z would stay friends after a divorce — then she could announce it on her Instagram.
3. During the VMAs
Maybe subtle and casual isn't the way to go with this. If Beyoncé wants to make a splash and then distract us as much as possible by putting on a show that will rival the huge bomb she just dropped on the audience, then she could use the VMAs as her platform to confirm the rumors. (Maybe right before she sings a rendition of "Single Ladies"... but that joke might already be Too Soon.) As Bustle's Martha Sorren noted, Beyoncé has a habit of divulging things onstage so it wouldn't be out of character.
4. In Their Lyrics
One of the many, many things that got people talking about Beyoncé and Jay Z's marriage being on the rocks is a song. During the On the Run Tour, Beyoncé changed the lyrics of "Resentment" from its original words to match up with her relationship with Jay Z — and "Resentment" is a song about a philandering partner. Then there's the "Flawless" remix which had a line that cheekily referred to Elevatorgate. Maybe we'll get our announcement in the form of one last Beyoncé and Jay Z collaboration.
5. On Her Website
In addition to posting constant photos for people to enjoy, Beyonce.com also operates as a blog for Beyoncé to air her thoughts. It would be along the same vein as a joint statement, but maybe the website on which you'll find the first scoop about Beyoncé and Jay Z's divorce will be Beyoncé's own website. After all, they posted the first pictures of Blue Ivy themselves so clearly they like being in control of their own media coverage.
6. Not At All
Of course, it would be most in-line with their private natures if they didn't make any kind of announcement at all. Why should Beyoncé tell us anything about her love life? Maybe we won't know that Jay Z and Beyoncé are split up until one or both of them starts dating someone new or the news breaks that one or both of them have moved out of the house. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that it never comes to any of this.
Image: Getty Images