Wait, You're Not Having Sex With Robots Yet?

by Marisa Riley
Alexander Koerner/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Call me old-fashioned, but when I think of what life will be like in the future, I see hover-boards and food in pill form and accessible healthcare . . . not doing it with robots. Welp, I was wrong. According to The Daily Dot, having sex with robots might be the way of the not-so-distant future.

The Daily Dot notes that a recent Pew Report, "AI, Robotics, and the Future of Jobs" explores how the imminent robot takeover will affect us in the future. Though it focuses heavily on how technology could someday dominate the workforce — an issue we actually shouldn't have to worry about for a while — the idea that we all might be depending on robots for orgasms comes up as well. The scary part? This could be a reality in about a decade (11 years, to be exact).

Yup. HuffPo notes that lead researcher Stowe Boyd predicts (in the report) that robot sex could be a totally normal thing for everyone in 2025:

“Robotic sex partners will become commonplace, although the source of scorn and division, the way that critics today bemoan selfies as an indicator of all that’s wrong with the world.”

In other words: doing the no-pants dance with battery-powered friends (obviously running out of robot sex euphemisms here) will be as popular as selfies soon. I repeat: as popular as selfies . . .

Sure, this all sounds a bit outlandish at first, but when you think about how much technology has advanced in the last year alone, it actually makes a little sense. That, and having sex with robots isn't exactly a new concept. Thanks to Tenga, robots are administering handjobs, while FriXion has stepped in as the pioneer of “robotics-assisted teledildonics” (teledildonics!). And of course vibrators have been around for decades, and now come in necklace, app, and glove forms.

Though I am not denying the possibility that this prediction will, in fact, become a reality very soon, it still seems completely strange to me. All I can think about is how I'm going to defend my love for human-on-human sex to younger generations: "Back when I was your age, we used to do the dirty with other people's genitals!" "Grosss!"