Although we initially anticipated that Beyoncé and Jay Z would announce their divorce as soon as the On the Run Tour was completed, the current word on the street is that Beyoncé will announce her divorce at the Video Music Awards. She's set to perform and, considering that on stage is where she chose to announce that Blue Ivy was on her way, it seems pretty likely that she'll announce this huge marital shake up in some way on stage as well. However, even if you're having your doubts about Beyoncé and Jay Z's marriage, there can be no question that if Beyoncé actually does announce that she's a single lady on stage at the VMAs, we're all going to be shocked.
Now think back. Imagine an innocent time, in 2013, when the sky was blue, the grass was green, and Miley Cyrus had long hair. In a single VMAs performance, Cyrus went from a former Disney star and the face of Hannah Montana to a blond haired, scantily-clad, cultural appropriator who would become the new face of twerking. That sudden transformation was all that anyone could talk about for weeks because we were all busy being shocked, appalled, amused, or just plain confused by this sudden turn of events.
With that legendary moment as the thing that the 2014 Video Music Awards has to top, would Beyoncé's divorce announcement be shocking enough to become the single defining moment of the VMAs? Let's compare the two events.
Beyoncé and Jay Z
- The rumors that Beyoncé and Jay Z are getting a divorce have been so shocking and upsetting that it's all that people can talk about. It's gotten to the point that even Funny or Die made a video entirely based around the divorce that no one can stop talking about.
- Beyoncé and Jay Z are basically the King and Queen of everything and have been for over 12 years. It's basically like American royalty are getting a divorce.
- Bey and Jay already created a huge amount of buzz with one scandal this year, the infamous Elevatorgate incident that they tried to downplay as much as possible.
- Literally every single eye in the world is on their relationship right now and there are probably many people who will tune into the VMAs just to make sure they catch the announcement.
- People are already talking about Jay Z and Beyoncé, so it's not like their buzz can possible increase even after a divorce announcement at the VMAs.
- Because people are already talking, everyone already knows this is "going to happen". At this point, Beyoncé wouldn't be shocking anyone. She'd just be confirming their suspicions.
Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke
- No one saw that coming. Absolutely no one. If they tell you that they did, they are lying. Even the celebrities physically present at the VMAs had no idea what they were watching. Right, Rhi-Rhi?
- After the performance itself, there was a firestorm surrounding Miley Cyrus. She became more famous than she ever had been while a Disney star.
- On the downside, this performance is rumored to be one of the contributing factors to Robin Thicke's divorce from Paula Patton.
- This is the single VMA event to which all other VMA events will be compared from now probably until the end of time. In fact, we're comparing something to it right now, proving what an intrinsic part of pop culture it is. It's even been parodied on South Park.
- Considering the sort of person Cyrus has become in the wake of this performance, in hindsight it's not very shocking at all.
Sorry, Queen Bey, but Miley Cyrus definitely has you beat on shocking VMAs performances at the moment. Even if you do announce that you and Jay Z are splitting up, everyone's kind of half-expecting it and no one will be truly surprised. Devastated, yes, but not surprised. Meanwhile, we all still remember exactly where we were when Cyrus twerked for the first time: sitting in front of our televisions with our jaws on the floor.
Image: Getty Images; Rebloggy