‘Game of Thrones’ Lena Headey Worked at a Pizza Parlor So Let’s Imagine If Cersei Did the Same

HOLLYWOOD, CA - MARCH 04: Actress Lena Headey attends the premiere of Warner Bros. Pictures and Legendary Pictures' '300: Rise Of An Empire' at TCL Chinese Theatre on March 4, 2014 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
Source: Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
Where is the last place on Earth that you can imagine Game of Thrones' Cersei Lannister? Is it behind the counter at a dollar-a-slice pizzeria? Well, that's at least one of the top contenders, but what do ya know, her portrayer Lena Headey's first job was at a pizza parlor, making late night pies for inebriated pub-goers. May I say, the more I learn about the real life Headey, the more I want to eat drunk pizza with her. 

This year, Headey finally snagged her first Emmy nod for her portrayal of hydra-mom/consummate wino/badass heiress Cersei Lannister. In an interview with E! Online, Headey discussed her Emmy feelings, who she wants to share a drink with, and her early profession as a pizzaiolo. Unlike her on-screen character Cersei, who generally doesn't enjoy the company of people, the Game of Thrones actress couldn't seem cooler or more eager to hang out. Case in point, her choice for a perfect happy hour partner is "everyone." 

I'm guessing that this gregariousness served her well at her first job, which she describes as "mainly making pizzas for drunk folk after the pubs shut." Can't you just imagine her making priceless fun faces at her coworkers and customers, generally increasing the happy quotient of the room? Plus, if you've ever been to one of those establishments, you know it requires a certain type of easygoing nature to deal with the intoxicated monkeys (you and your friends included) that patronize the joint. Specifically, it cannot be farther from the personality of the mother of madness herself, Cersei Lannister. 

Just for funsies, let's imagine what it would look like if Cersei were forced to do Lena Headey's first job. Get ready for the episode of The Simple Life: Flea Bottom where Cersei Lannister works at a pizza parlor. 

When anyone walks into the establishment

Don't these worms realize that she's strategizing her next move to gain political power?

When customers have the gall to speak to her

Nope, sorry. We're totally out of pizza. Now, refrain from speaking to me ever again, or I'll have my henchmen cut out your tongue.

Obviously, she would brown-bag all of her shifts

Cersei goes nowhere without her cask of red wine and her cup-bearer.

With all those wine breaks, she's holding up the line

Listen, my dad owns, like, all the gold in the Seven Kingdoms. I'm subject to a different set of rules than all the normals.

So her boss is like "Hey sister, shake a leg!" Then she responds . . .

PIG! You shall address me as "Your Grace."

When anyone asks for an unusual topping or extra cheese

Oooooh you want Hawaiian pizza? Soooo original!

When a customer complains that their pizza is cold

Welcome to the Lannister Pizza Parlor, the rudest little Italian restaurant in all of Westeros!

Images: Giphy (7)

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