Entertainment

A Consolation Prize for Zach Rance

by Samantha Martin

With a unanimous vote, Zach Rance was evicted from the Big Brother house on Thursday night. I shed a major tear as Zach was easily the most entertaining — and sexually fluid — houseguest of the season. His exit may have been uncharacteristically lacking in theatricality, but that doesn't mean viewers won't miss his antics — or his relationship with houseguest Frankie Grande, brother of pop star Ariana Grande. That said, while we're crying at home, Zach should be celebrating. Why? It's simple: Zach should totally date Ariana Grande and now is his chance.

While you're formulating that mental picture, I'll spell out the reasons why this is a match made in reality TV heaven.

1. Zach's got her brother's stamp of approval

Zach and Frankie — collectively "Zankie" — were a veritable showmance until Frankie totally threw Zach under the bus and turned the house against him. As weird as it would be for Ariana to date someone who her brother kinda sorta dated, at least she would go into it knowing that her brother sees the appeal.

2. Zach's got her mother's stamp of approval

Joan Grande has tweeted many times in support of Zankie, wishing they would end up in the final two together. This obviously means that she thinks Zach is a guy worthy of the affections of any of her children. Also, she's total BFFs with Zach's mom.

3. Ariana is rich

And Zach is unemployed! Being with a pop superstar is certainly one way to not miss the $500K he could've won.

Jason Merritt/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

4. They have a catchy portmanteau

"Zariana" may not have quite the same quirkiness as "Zankie," but it's sexy and exotic. Could totally be the name of a hotel on the Las Vegas strip.

5. It's age appropriate

Ariana is 21 and Zach is 23. Totes normal.

6. He kinda looks like guys she's dated

Graham Phillips, Nathan from The Wanted, and Jai Brooks all have dark hair, light skin, and baby faces. Just like Zach. Boom.

7. They're both Floridians.

Ariana is from Boca Raton and Zach is from Palm Beach. That's a 30-minute drive, tops, and a conversation piece that could last hours.

8. It's the perfect revenge

Ariana would actually get to hook up with Zach, which would be the perfect way for him to stick it to Frankie for sending him home.

Images: Getty Images; survivorsucks.yuku.com