Every 2014 VMAs Malfunction — Wardrobe, Or Otherwise — In Order Of "Meh" to Jay Pharoah

Look. No one expected the 2014 MTV VMAs to go down without a hitch. It's a ceremony that's never boring and cleanly planned enough to be like the Grammys, but it is the biggest awards show of the summer. Is it so much to expect that the show isn't completely plagued by unplanned nonsense? This year, we dealt with everything from terrible sound to Nicki Minaj's unfortunate wardrobe malfunction (which she handled like a damn champ, FWIW) and the whole time, I wasn't exactly sure what I was watching. Or how long I'd been watching. Or where I was. What's my name again? I'm lost.

From the pre-show red carpet to the awards' most anticipated moments, there were flubs every where we looked. The VMAs didn't really have a theme (unless L.A. pride counts), but from the looks of things, I think we can safely say it quickly became "Hot Mess." Don't believe me? (If you don't, you might want to check the re-broadcast going on right now, because we clearly weren't watching the same thing.) The proof is in the ridiculously inappropriate jokes and terrible AV skills, homeskillet.

Here's absolutely everything that went wrong at the 2014 VMAs (minus, of course, the part where Beyoncé didn't deliver an hour-long performance — I knew that was a long shot).

1. The Pre-Show Video Snafu

While MTV was supposed to be showing us video of a super-duper important interview with Austin Mahone, the official representative of flavored water that you've never purchased a day in your life, someone screwed it up and showed us the completely static nothing going inside of the "Fabulous" Forum. So much for that big reveal when the show actually started, eh?

2. Spoiler: Taylor Swift WON??!!?

Nope. That was just some PA's voice accidentally being blasted over Snoop Dogg and Gwen Stefani right before they handed the Best Female Video award to Katy Perry... not Taylor. And for what it's worth, that dude was probably giving a camera cue: Taylor one, not "Taylor won!!!! [OMG implied]." So chill out, Twitter.

3. We Totally Couldn't Hear Jessie, Ariana, or Nicki.

Earth to MTV: This is only my favorite freaking song. It would be cool if we could hear it. On Music Television, if that is even your real name.

4. And Then Nicki's Dress Didn't Work

Michael Buckner/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

And even though this is technically a snafu, Minaj rocked it as best she could. Werk, girl. WERK.

5. Jay Pharoah, In General

Hey, the Kardashians may have laughed at his sad, sad Yeezy jokes, but whoever decided Jay Pharoah should faux-host the VMAs and make awkward, creepy jokes about Ariana Grande is not using his or her full noggin.

6. The Non-Tribute

Valerie Macon/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

The VMAs attempted to give Robin Williams a respectful tribute, but instead, they threw up a couple of images and Coldplay song in between a gaggle of giggling members of Fifth Harmony and a ridiculously loud commercial break. By the time we realized what was supposed to be happening, we were being asked to buy Big Macs or whatever. Try harder, MTV.

Images: Getty Images (2); Giphy (5)