September 18 is National Cheeseburger Day. That's right folks, there really is a day for everything, and I know this because yesterday the Internet and my editor told me so. Cats, aliens, penguins, and pancakes — go ahead and cancel those Tinder dates because each honoree deserves at least 24 hours of your undivided attention.
And on this particular day, we virtually gather here to honor our beloved burger. Whether she's grilled, broiled, fried, or topped, she's a work of art, worthy of scrolling superlatives. And sure, you could celebrate such a historic day with a handful of close friends debating the burger's origin while slinging beers and beef patties at your favorite local pub. Or, if you're me, you could hole up in your 200-square foot studio apartment with your cat and your heating pad to write a sonnet dedicated to your favorite cheeseburgers of all time, and then wonder why you're still single. Whatever, poet's license is a thing and I do what I want, so without further ado, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, this bun's for you.
Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger, how do I love thee? Let me count the (15) ways.