Are Beyonce & Jay Z Illuminati? Wake Up, People! The Signs Are All There

Beyoncé (queen of all things, president of the free world, light of our light, heart of our hearts) and Jay Z (her husband) have had their fair share of controversy over the past few years. It's practically impossible to get away with being that unbelievably famous and not have rumors spread about even the smallest, insignificant things you do. Then again, if even the smallest, insignificant things you do are to serve the all-ruling secret society known as The Illuminati, fans are bound to catch on. Nothing can be kept from the Beyhive, not even the heavily shrouded existence of the New World Order. So when it comes to the question of whether Beyoncé and Jay Z are in the Illuminati, well, take a look at the evidence for yourself.

What follows is highly classified, and by reading it you put yourself, your family, your friends, and basically anyone you’ve ever met (yes, even that gross guy you hooked up with on spring break last year) in danger. The Illuminati is always watching, so hide ya kids, hide ya wife, and proceed with caution, y'all, because despite the fact that Bey and Jay have yet to Instagram a (photoshopped) group pic of all the members, or dress Blue Ivy up in a "My First Illuminati Meeting!" baby tee, there is plenty of totally rock hard, 100 percent solid, completely undeniable proof that the two are the biggest card carrying members of the greatest conspiracy on Earth.

Need an Illuminati refresher? Let's break it down.

So who the eff are the Illuminati, anyway?

First of all, don't address them in that tone. They control all things and could probably have your life cut short with a snap of their fingers. Second of all, they go way back and were founded on May 1, 1776, as an Enlightenment-era secret society founded in Bavaria. There are many different conspiracies surrounding them, some of which say they're "hastening the coming of the anti-Christ and the end of the world," and others who just accuse them of controlling the banking system. Bottom line: they will cut you.

Does the Illuminati have a mascot? OF COURSE THEY DO

If you're Beyoncé or Jay Z (lol #agirlcandream), triangles aren't simply the equilateral, isosceles, or scalene dreams of geometry classes gone by. To the godfather and godmother of the Illuminati, a triangle or pyramid is equated with WORLD DOMINATION, and HIERARCHY, and above all, HOVA. The shape, which he continuously flashes, is the symbol for his record label, Roc-A-Fella records, and can also be found printed on U.S. dolla-dolla-billz. Why? Because the Illuminati controls the banks. I went over that already. Keep up. Apparently the imagery of the eye on top of the triangle is supposed to represent the fact that "Lucifer is always watching." Yikes.

Bey got people all in a tizzy during her Superbowl performance when she flashed the symbol, and then all of the lights went out. Coincidence? I think not.

Well then, who's in it?

Really powerful people, like celebs, presidents, and one goddess (Beyoncé). When B flashed the double six (or "A-OK") signs, which are said to be the mark of the devil, at the 2014 Grammy Awards, everyone was all, "OMG did she just formally admit to being a part of this large-scale, possibly evil organization?!" And she was like "..." because she doesn't respond to commoners, but regardless, Beyoncé and Jay Z are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to famous members of the NWO. In addition to them, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Celine Dion (have you seen her signature pose?!), Justin Bieber, Kanye West, Madonna, Ke$ha, LeBron James, and more have been revealed as Illuminati sympathizers.

Are there any Illuminati clues in their music videos?

HELL YEAH. In Jay's "On to the Next One" video, he rocks some devil horns (as you do), features a few goat skulls here and there (imagery which has ties to demons and the devil himself), and mixes in a few symbols of Freemasonry. Beyoncé got in on the goat lovin' too when she posed in a dress for an I Am... Sasha Fierce photo shoot that had the animal's skull front and center. I mean, no wonder her smize is so on point — the DEVIL is behind it.

Is Blue Ivy safe? Should someone check on her?

Pfft, relax. According to some people Blue Ivy is just as hardcore about the NWO as her parents. No need to worry. After all, she's the heir to the Illuminati throne, and will no doubt be ruling the world in due time.

Wait... does that mean "Elevatorgate" had something to do with all this?!

A few people definitely think that the elevator fight after the Met Gala in 2014 really illuminated (hehehe) their involvement with the secret society. There were three key people involved (three = triangles, etc.), and the fact that it was one of the biggest scandals of this year and it got buried by "bigger" stories within the week? Even more proof that Jay Z called in some Illuminati favors to cover it up. WAKE UP, PEOPLE!

Um, what happens now? Is someone going to come after me?

Probably not. Ain't nobody in the Illuminati got time for that, least of all Queen B. Although if they do, don't say we didn't warn you. *wink wink*

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