When normal people like you or I drink soda, we get a case of the burps and maybe a mild energy spike. When international superstars like Taylor Swift drink soda the heavens part and shower down fuzzy munchkin kittens from on high. At least in the new Taylor Swift Diet Coke ad, that’s the reality that we're being sold.
If you haven’t seen the commercial in which celeb spokesperson Taylor Swift drowns in a sea of multiplying cats, you should familiarize yourself. Scene: Swift reclines on her couch playing with cat friend Olivia Benson and a piece of yarn. Parched from the rigorous activity, Swift takes a sip of her cola, and suddenly there are TWO Olivia Bensons. With each consecutive sip of the low-cal carbonated beverage, more kittens appear in a sort of feline Fibonacci sequence, until Swift is buried under a dune of fluff and ambient meowing. Wanna re-write the laws of physics to suit your cute addiction? It’s easy: Just be Taylor Swift and drink Diet Coke!
Speaking of things that just spontaneously appear when Taylor Swift sips her magical endorsed soft drink bottle, this got my old gears a grinding. What else magically appears when Taylor Swift drinks Diet Coke? Here are just a few articles that I'm willing to wager...
All of her best friends
It's no news that Taylor Swift is queen of the besties, but it is news that Diet Coke magically teleports them to her house!
This dessert is fitting with the overwhelming cuteness theme. See: kitten tsunami.
Her backup band, clad in furry costumes
It ain't no party without a crew of adults dressed like woodland critters.
I mean, they are on her rider of "things to appear before me in my daydreams."
ALL THE AWARDS!!!
An angel getting its wings
À la Clarence in It's a Wonderful Life.
Well, that's just a gimme...
In conclusion, click the heels of your ruby slippers, and sip your magical Diet Coke bottle three times and you too can conjure up a mirage of cuteness and special things. That is, if you take enough hallucinogens or make enough money. Or both!!
Image: Giphy (4)