Her Plan for Falcone Just Got Bizarre

by Kadeen Griffiths

I don't know about you, but I spent most of Monday night's episode of Gotham wondering what exactly was the point of Liza. Fish Mooney wanted Liza to be a weapon, but she spent most of the episode being very bored and learning how to say the same key phrases in several different tones of voice. Her so-called weapons training mostly consisted of sounding maternal and listening to opera. Then Gotham dropped a bombshell on us. Fish Mooney trained Liza to be Don Falcone's mother. I'll give you a moment to read that again. Then say it with me: What? Ew!

After Fish got Liza to say her lines in just the right tone of voice and make just the right expressions, she cut and dyed Liza's hair to more of a dirty blond, wavy bob. Next thing you know, Liza is taking a walk in the park, dressed in high-heels and a truly gorgeous gown, while humming an aria. Falcone, who was feeding the pigeons, walks up to her in awe. It turns out that this particular aria is both of their favorites. And why is it Falcone's favorite? "My mother sang that to me when I was young. Her whole life she sang that to me... You look..." Cue my jaw hitting the floor.

I had theorized that perhaps Fish was training Liza for the predictable role of seducing Don Falcone after she had arranged an unfortunate accident for his previous girlfriend. Now it appears more like Fish was training Liza for the role of mother figure to a man twice her age. Despite the fact that Liza's audition for the role of Fish's weapon involved trying to seduce her, her actual job is to be a maternal figure to the Don of the Falcone crime family — complete with a patented Disappointed Mother Face. There is just so much ick factor here that I don't even know where to start.

If Liza is truly meant to be a mother figure to Falcone, then there's a pretty big age difference problem here that kind of defeats the entire purpose. Perhaps she's going, instead, for more of a daughter figure or a younger sister? I'm sorry, but I just don't see Liza as Falcone's mother, even if she knows his favorite aria and can beat a girl to death with her bare hands. If Liza is actually meant to get close to Falcone by giving him a mother figure and then turn their relationship into something more seductive — excuse me, I can't even finish that thought without shuddering. Fish Mooney's endgame just became even cloudier thanks to this little bomb shell.

At this point, I'd like to start immediately wiping my brain of any training in seduction that Fish gave to Liza prior to sending her after Falcone because "mothers" and "seduction" don't really belong in the same secret takeover plan. The only thing we know for sure by now is that Liza is a very, very good actress. Take a look at her from the beginning of the episode and then again after Fish transformed her into, well, Falcone's mother. It's like watching two completely different women. Clearly Fish picked the right girl to be her weapon, even if we don't know what for.

Image: Jessica Miglio/FOX