It’s a good time to be a cat lady. Want to wear rhinestone cat ears? Carry around your feline Chihuahua-style while running errands? Totally acceptable these days (thanks for trailblazing, Taylor!). And while I’m glad the world is finally as obsessed with cats as I have been since I was a 5-year-old who rocked bed sheets with kittens on them, I still feel the need to spread the love for one under-appreciated segment of the cat population: black cats are the best.
We all know the superstition that black cats are bad luck. For centuries, these coal-colored felines have had to deal with a bad reputation and one too many Halloween jokes (if you named yours Midnight or Spooky, I’m giving you some MAJOR side-eye right now). Even though their popularity is on the upswing, black cats still get the short end of the wand toy. Need proof?
Two years ago, I adopted my first cat and love of my life, Bowie, from the local Humane Society. He’s all black, except for white patches under his armpits and one on his chest that looks like a bow tie. A couple months later I got him a derpy yet adorable orange cat brother named Bilbo. I quickly noticed that Bilbo’s photos always got more "likes" on Instagram than Bowie’s, and whenever friends came over, they only mentioned how cute Bilbo was. This cat mom was infuriated! And so, I dedicate this list of 13 things only black cat owners understand to my dear furchild:
1. Every Halloween you become weirdly protective of your cat
You’d probably demand a helicopter search if your whiskered friend managed to sneak outside anytime around Oct. 31. I mean, what if someone captured him for a satanic ritual? Or the sugared-up youths got to him?!
2. And you have to admit, seeing that arched back stretch never gets old
Greatest. Thing. Ever.
3. You’ve learned that taking a good photo of your cat is nearly impossible
Try as you may to capture your cat’s cuteness on camera, your friend’s photogenic tabby gets all the social media love. It’s just not fair!
4. But those flashed-out laser eyes are kind of amazing…
And great for gif-making!
5. Plus, seeing your friend’s clothes covered in her cat’s light hair is extremely satisfying
Oh yeah, think your calico is so superior now?
6. You must own every black cat fashion item you find
A black cat print dress? Mini black cat earrings? Shoes that look like black cats? Yes, yes, and YES.
7. And you think Chococat is way cooler than Hello Kitty
Hello Kitty isn’t even a cat, guys.
8. Whenever you see How to Train Your Dragon, you think Toothless looks like your cat
Because he REALLY does.
9. You’re used to tripping all the time
Think it’s easy to get an orange cat tangled in your feet? Try walking to the bathroom in the dark with a black cat in your way.
10. And you are an expert at spotting cat eyes under beds and in closets
Pssh, like your cat could really hide from more snuggles.
11. You get defensive when someone says black cats are antisocial
12. But who cares what they think? You know your cat is classier than theirs
Black cats always look sleek and sophisticated. And tuxedo cats are so dapper!
13. Oh, and Salem Saberhagen is pretty much your hero.
If your cat could talk, you like to imagine he’d be as awesome as Salem. And maybe then you could have powers like Sabrina, too.