Your Ultimate Guide to Breakup Recovery

Every person has their own remedy for mending a broken heart after a terrible, horrible, no good breakup. You will be hearing advice left and right, even if you never asked. Not every piece of advice will work for you. People are different and so is every broken heart. But, in this ocean of wisdom and guidance, you may catch some advice you’ll want to reel in. Hold on to it tight, because it will help you through those rough waters. And before you know it, you’ll be safely on the shore.

Take This Time for Yourself

You need to figure out what is best for you during this time. Spend time thinking about what it is you want for yourself. You probably spent a lot of energy on your previous relationship. Now you can take this energy, and focus it on you and your own happiness.

Things Happen for a Reason

I know this can be a hard saying to hear when you’re in the midst of depression, but it’s the truth when it comes to relationships. And sometimes the only thing you can hold on to during this low time is that mentality of “it will all make sense one day.”

Stay Busy

A busy body makes a busy mind. And a busy mind helps you when all you are doing is replaying the breakup over and over in your head. Staying busy with work, or other activities, is important to counter those moments of overanalyzing. Sure, it’s crucial to not "busy away your emotions," but there’s some truth in keeping your mind occupied.

It’s Okay to Be Sad as Long as You Need to Be

There is no timeframe for the grieving process. Every person grieves differently, and that is okay. Don’t beat yourself up for still thinking of your ex, or crying over him or her. Let it take as long as it needs for you. You’re the only person who knows when you are ready to move forward.

Look at the Negative

For once in your life it’s important to be a negative Nancy. When all you’re doing is daydreaming of those happy memories, it can be soul-crushing. This is where you need to make a list of the negatives in that relationship. Look at it every morning to remind yourself why it needed to end.

You’ll Come Out of This a Stronger Person

As difficult as it is to believe, working through that pain really will build those emotional muscles.

Go Cold Turkey

Think of your ex as a bad habit. Sometimes your best option is going cold-turkey. Depending on the breakup, the only thing that will help you is having zero contact with him or her. No one said going cold turkey isn’t painful. But, much like ripping off a band-aid, it hurts like hell, but the pain doesn’t last as long.

It’s a Breakup Because it’s Broken

Sometimes after a breakup, we go back and forth of trying to understand why. When someone reminds you, “It’s a breakup because it’s broken,” it can hurt. But, it can also help. This reality can move your grieving process along faster, because you start to accept that this relationship wasn’t working out.

Get Creative

This is the perfect time to get your creative juices flowing. Some of the best works of art have been created by broken-hearted souls. I mean, have you heard Adele’s album before? This is the moment where you can get out your feelings, creatively. Who knows what you are about to create.

It’s a Blessing in Disguise

Sometimes the most painful things in our lives are the best things to happen to us. It’s hard to see it in the moment, but as times passes, you will see the blessing.

Every Day Will Get Better and Better

When we are feeling hopeless, we need to know that better days are ahead of us. In the beginning, a breakup can feel shocking and devastating. Thankfully, with every passing moment, you are one step closer to a better day. Always think, if you can handle day number one, you can handle anything.

Make a Playlist

Let Kelly Clarkson, Beyoncé, and Alanis Morissette help soothe your broken heart. There’s nothing better than singing at the top of your lungs to help you through this period of time.

Get Up and Move

Get those endorphins going. You could use them right about now. For some, getting out of bed is like being asked to run a marathon. Take it slow and steady. Any small step is a step in the right direction.

Surround Yourself With Positive People

You could use some positivity in your world right now. Call up those girlfriends of yours who are going to make you feel good about yourself. Invite your family members over who will make you smile. A little ray of sunshine can make a world of difference.

When One Door Closes Another Door Opens

Ain’t that true. Sometimes doors shut on us, even if we didn’t close them ourselves. You feel like you’re stuck in a dark and scary room. But as time passes, you will find another door to open. And, when you open it, you’ll find a bigger and brighter room than you could have ever imagined.

Delete Delete Delete

Hit that delete button. Goodbye phone number. Goodbye text messages. Goodbye following his or her social media accounts. Now, don't you feel clean?

Channel Your Anger

There is a fine line between love and hate. Sometimes after a breakup you are angry. Feel that anger and channel it. Running and screaming are some healthy ways to release anger that are an important part of healing.

Dating Detox

If you are one of those people who go from relationship to relationship, you might want to consider a dating detox. You can choose however long the detox needs to be. Standing on your own, and learning how to be alone and single is crucial. Through this process you will learn to love yourself, instead of finding love through another person.


Having your own space to talk about the breakup is vital. Going to therapy can help immensely and could give you that outside unbiased listener you need.


Journal, journal, journal. You need to get your thoughts out there. One way to do this is through pen and paper. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece of words, it just has to make you feel better.

Healthy Distractions

When the pain is unbearable, it’s vital to have a momentary distraction. Whether this is trashy reality television or playing that Kim Kardashian game on your phone for hours, do it. A little distraction goes a long way.

Let Your Friends Know What Will Help You

You’ll get by with the help from your friends. But your friends need to know when you need them. Call them up when you’re down. Let them know you’re going to need their support right now.

Treat Yo' Self

If there’s ever a time to treat yourself, it’s now. Take a bubble bath and drink champagne. Wine and dine yourself. Buy yourself that outfit you’ve been eyeing for months. You could use a little pick-me-up.

Pet Therapy

A pet can be a woman’s best friend after a breakup. Your dog doesn’t care how much you’re crying or that your mascara is running down your cheeks. Hold on to your pet for comfort. Those furry kisses will make you feel ‘paw’sitively better.


Vacation, all you ever wanted — and needed. You can’t take a vacation from life, but you can escape for a weekend getaway with the ladies. A change of scenery might be just what the doctor ordered.

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