Wowzers, did last Monday's Vanderpump Rules ever reach a glorious crescendo. I can't stop thinking about that moment at the end of the episode when estranged exes Kristen Doute and Tom Sandoval made nice... ONLY FOR THE TEARS TO BE A PART OF DOUTE'S PLAN. In the awesomely diabolical talking head that popped up after the heart-to-heart, Doute all but cackled "BWAHAHAHA" while drumming her fingertips together. She will take Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix’s relationship down if it’s the last thing she does! Her strategy: Use the alleged hookup that allegedly transpired the last time Tom Sandoval visited South Beach against Tom Sandoval and Madix. She is nothing if not tenacious, that Doute. Please take a look at this excerpt from this Monday night's episode description:
Kristen connects with the girl Tom Sandoval allegedly cheated with in hopes of finally breaking up his relationship with Ariana.
Um, she doesn't just "connect" with the alleged Miami hookup. Unless the Season 3 trailer is full of lies, it looks like Doute brought the alleged Miami hookup to SUR.
Prediction: This will be the best episode of what has been a perfect season of television.
So, who is the woman Tom Sandoval allegedly cheated on Ariana with? Well, according to the stars, er, a Star magazine exclusive, Tom Sandoval allegedly slept with a woman named Annemarie Kunkel while partying in Miami.
You know what I did next. You KNOW I went full Doute. I searched Kunkel's social media accounts for details/hints/clues. Who is Annemarie Kunkel? I wondered. And what scandalous details might I find?!?!
…My investigation didn’t last long. Nothing sus happening over on Instagram. Her Twitter account? Basically empty. Kunkel's only tweeted 10 times. Here’s the lone tweet that has anything to do with Tom Sandoval and Vanderpump Rules:
Oh. OK. That's it, then. Let's move al—
Hold up. She's only tweeted 10 times? Hm. She's either channeling Beyoncé's Twitter style, or something else is going on here. SOMETHING SUS.
I was right to be wary of the low tweet count: A few days after the Vanderpump Season 3 premiere aired last November, Kunkel's possible subtweet caught the eye of my colleague Arielle Dachille. However, that tweet (and any other tweets that might've existed before Dec. 2014) has been deleted.
Innnnnteresting. Well, as a wise cast once said, "The truth will come out."