'AHS' Season 5 Is a Long Wait Away

Seasons of American Horror Story don't end, they sort of limp to the finish line and implode. It's the way every season has been, save for the truly outstanding Asylum (the other seasons try to be trash masterpieces, but that year actually succeeded, "Name Game," aliens, and all). So while the finale of Freak Show still hasn't aired yet, fans (including me) are already looking forward to the American Horror Story Season 5 premiere. We've heard a few plausible rumors about what the show will be about, including the secret government experiments at Operation Top Hat. And Ryan Murphy dropped tons of taunting hints about what the plot will be, then claimed that no one has guessed correctly yet.

And supposedly, this season will radically change everything about the series, from going back to a less self-consciously comedic style to losing Jessica Lange (maybe). So it's an exciting one, and that's from a show that manages to make every premiere feel like a life-changing event. But there's a long wait ahead, for those of us who haven't given up on the show. If we can make it through the last four episodes of Coven, we can make it through anything, no matter how disjointed and tonally muddled it is.

There are so many TV milestones that we'll pass long before the next season of American Horror Story... see you on the other side, AHS acolytes.

We'll Get Two More Ryan Murphy Shows

Murphy signed high-profile deals for two additional shows, Scream Queens on Fox and American Crime Story, also on FX (that will be sure to confuse everyone's DVRs). And both of them will probably premiere before late fall. Scream Queens is on track for a September release, and Murphy is directing the premiere of American Crime Story, so it seems reasonable that it will shoot/air before or at the same time as AHS Season 5. So we'll have reached peak Ryan Murphy exposure by Halloween.

FXX Will Finally Become a Thing

Last year, Fox toyed with the idea of switching most of its cable comedies from FX to FXX, but chickened out after It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The League. But now, they've successfully launched their "Every Simpsons Ever" marathon to crazy ratings success, the new comedy Man Seeking Woman to pretty good critical success, and now they're moving You're the Worst, one of their new 2014 comedies, there.

True Detective Season 2... Maybe

Yes, even the show that's so far behind schedule it's literally been a year since the first season aired and they've just started shooting should be on HBO's shelf by the time AHS round five rolls around.

Six Months of Ad Campaigns

FX knows how to tease the crap out of a new season. I promise, even the most devoted haters will be salivating for American Horror Story Season 5. They prove the power of Photoshop, illustration, and a 30-second tease with no clumsy dialogue. They'll make the long wait feel even longer.

Image: Sam Lothridge/FOX; Frank Micelotta/PictureGroup/FX; Fox Broadcasting/FXX; Michele K. Short/HBO; FX