There's a sexist cliche out there that says women put hours into grooming, dressing, and looking DTF, while guys just throw on dirty laundry, forget to shower or shave, and get laid anyways. Not so, say two new Buzzfeed videos that show how women and men prep for sex. For every guy (or girl) who prefers the "whatever" approach to a sexual pre-game, there are plenty of others who put extra effort into seeming like they didn't actually put any effort in at all (that's the goal, right?)
Chances are, if you're a non-virginal human female, you probably have a sex story or two that includes either a wreck of an apartment, unwashed hair, pajamas, or unkempt below-the-belt parts. However, as "traumatizing" as any surprise session might be, the anxiety that comes from lack of preparation is probably made up for in steamy spontaneity. Still, most of us would rather have a heads up about what's gonna go down, so we can light the black candles, put on a Celtic Frost record, and make sure the handcuff keys still work — or whatever is you like to do.
While pre-sex preparation might differ between people, it definitely doesn't differ that much across genders. Here's what guys and girls both put on their sexual pre-game to-do lists.
1. Clean Your Apartment
Your apartment is a metaphor for your genitals. As one woman in the video suggests, how your living space looks is a reflection of "what's going on downstairs," so you'll probably wanna scrub the corners of your kitchen, closet, bathroom and living room, especially if you plan to get it on in those places. Same goes for guys, some of whom would never clean up "if there wasn't a potential of sex." Hey, whatever motivates you.
Body hair grooming is a choice, regardless of gender. Still, most of us trim, wax or pluck in some way, so this is high on the list of what to do before knocking boots.
3. Make Sure Your Underwear Game Is On Fleek
It may end up on the floor, but your choice of underwear can really set the tone for your rendezvous. Women are lucky enough to have the option of matching bras with panties, too, which adds a whole new dimension to the game. I guess guys could always match their boxer briefs to their bedsheets?
4. Buy Condoms
Whatever kind of sex you're having, there's a condom for it, so you'll need to have some on hand (unless you're having FaceTime sex or something). Don't get yourself into a situation where things heat up and then you're stuck having to run to the store — or even worse, doing it without one.
5. Cue Up Your Sex Soundtrack
"Spotify is a real gamble," as one wise woman points out. If commercials for car insurance start popping up, it's going to ruin the mood right quick. And if you're a vinyl enthusiast, make sure you know how much time you've got on Side A, or you'll be dealing with another interruption. It's probably just best to stick with a curated playlist on iTunes that lasts for at least a few hours.